The Mind of a Hero

Author's Note

I'm so sorry.

I know when I apologize for angst it's usually "I'm so sorry but plot" and you guys are like "it hurts but good job suu suu👍🏾" but this just...I'm sorry. I feel like two people I killed off didn't really need to be killed off for plot. Well, one person. It was Maria Kasprzak who took a bit of thought.

Now that I'm writing this author's note, I'm realizing how it kind of reminds me of "The Tell-Tale Heart" except our main character went on a very anticipated spiral and murdered his mother. And he had a good reason to kill, but STILL.

Anyway, here are some facts about the story!

1) The guy Jack nearly killed was just some random guy with no importance to the main story. He got in a bad car wreck, and the guy slipped into a coma for two weeks. Now Jack has some driver's anxiety. He's okay, he just feels guilty, which is why he seemed to lack understanding of what Elmer did because he did it on purpose.

2) The entire story is written by Davey. It's what Davey would've written if his book actually existed (kind of like the Lightyear movie, which Andy would've watched).

3) The reason I chose Elmer and Albert is I hadn't written them before. Of course, I'd written them as a side couple, but I'd never given them their own story--I'm always saying I write too much Javid, but I have a solid two completed stories about them--and I wanted to show them some love. Ravey's next, and if not them, Ikeshot, and if not them, who knows.

4) Maria wasn't going to die until, like, chapter three. When I was writing it, I was also going through who was going to die as well as the amount of people--all names were come up with on the spot, I'm sorry if they're terrible--and I thought "What if Elmer killed his mom?" I decided that was good for the plot, and it made the ending easier to write.

5) Elmer was always going to die. That was the end goal with this story. The surprise is that Albert wasn't going to as early as he did. They were going to die together, probably Bonnie and Clyde style, but I thought that didn't provide enough angst. To have Albert die first and then Elmer later: that's good content.

It ended up being a beautifully terrible story. I wanted it to stay in your mind, make you contemplate it before you went to bed at night. What did you guys think? Do you have any questions for me? I'll answer anything.

I'm also thinking about doing a character Q&A, but I'm not sure how you guys would feel about that. It'd be in interview style with the main four characters (Davey, Jack, Elmer, and Albert) and two other characters of your choice by vote. I suppose since it'd be posted in the oneshots, it'd be an actor AU. Just let me know what you think and tell me the questions you might have:). I'll probably need more than one from each of you so give me as many as you want to lol

I don't know what to say (lies, I've been spouting nonsense this entire time). I didn't think this story would be read at all because it's very strong and it's a ship I don't see often, but it did get read, and is being read, and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you so much for reading and commenting and making me laugh. I hope you enjoyed this story just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks for reading!!!