THÏRTY SÊVËÑ

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°Zahra Addler°

I knocked on my mom's bedroom door but got no answer and usually I'd leave them come back later because she was more than likely sleeping but something told me to go in.

I turned the door handle and pushed the door open, immediately scanning the room for her but she wasn't in the bed where she was supposed to be. My eyes fell on the locked bathroom door and I made my way over to it.

I knocked and waited for her to say something but she didn't so I turned the door handle and went in because she had a thing where she'd make a bed in the bathtub and lay in there for hours.

"Mama?" I called when I didn't see any signs of her upon entering but I soon caught a glimpse of her when I walked further into the bathroom. "Mom?" She didn't answer and I walked over to the tub.

She had her back turned to me and I took a seat on the edge of the tub before leaning down to brush her hair out of her face. She was truly a beauty and I could definitely see why my dad loved her the way he did because aside from her beauty, she had a beautiful heart and I felt like the world didn't deserve her.

They say we choose our parents before we're born and in the case of my Dad, I was sure I picked him but in the mom department, someone along the lines messed it up because if I had to choose again, it would be Iyana.

I examined her face and I saw the dried tears on her cheeks but also the tears in the corner of her eyes. My heart ached for her because she didn't deserve all the bad things that happened to her. "Mama?" I shook her gently trying my best not to startle her out of her sleep because I knew what a pain that could be. "Mom?" I shook her again and she stirred with a groan. "Hey. Mom, it's me." I shook her once more and this time her eyes fluttered open.

Her eyes fell onto my face and she quickly sat up swiping at her eyes as she tried to collect herself. "Are you okay baby?" She asked as she scanned my face and body for any signs that I was hurt.

"I'm fine."

"Good. Good."

"Are you okay?" I knew she wasn't because even though she let on that she didn't care that she lost the baby, it hurt her more than anything else because I overheard her on the phone talking to her friend Shavelle and she had been saying how what Sabrina said to her had her feeling like she was less than then to lose the baby after that, that couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow.

"Yeah, did Mrs. Mitch leave yet?"

"She did."

"I just fell asleep, I didn't mean to leave you in the house by yourself. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm fine."

"Good cause your father wouldn't forgive me if I let anything happen to you." She sighed in what I assumed was relief but maybe it was something else. "Mi wouldn't know di first ting fi seh tuh him."

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Yuh affi eat smthn cause yuh nuh eat since last night."

"I don't really have an appetite Z."

"But yuh nah try."

"I don't want to eat the food then have to bring it back up."

"Yuh nuh affi eat wah Mrs. Mitch cook suh just tell mi weh yuh want fi eat an mi mek it." Big up her, aunt Debbie and Mrs. Mitch for showing me the ropes because there were only a few things that I couldn't cook right now but I was getting there.

"I'll be fine Z, stop worrying about me."

"Not wen yah try fi run yuh self inna di ground. What would you tell me?" If anything were to happen to her den dem betta prepare fi bury mi wid her cause weh she leff mi fi duh.

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