Dear Julius,
Took me a long time to fully comprehend that I only drew an image of you in my head.
I was merely in love with the idea of you, of having you. Well, of course, you look perfect on paper. Smart, multi-talented, goal-oriented. The thing is, I focused too much on that, I had the fonts too large, that I ignored the signs, the warnings, the red flags.
Took me a long time to realize that I am only in love with the way you presented yourself to me and to everyone who saw you on screen.
The thing is you threw bombs and I gladly accepted them... because you looked perfect on paper.
So somehow, I blame myself a little.
You were a douchebag, yes. But I let myself become blind when my eyes can see clearly.
I was in the forest of your madness, I saw the red flags sticking out the ground as I kept walking, yet I ignored them, and trusted the bright light in front of me.
But not every bright light means the exit.
If only I knew.
But its alright. The longer the time I spend without you, the more I realize, and the more I am thankful I did not end up with you.
Sincerely, H.
