twenty three

flashbacks.

I experienced a lot of firsts
In the year of 2023.
My first kiss.
My first love.
My first loss.

I never would've thought
I would go through so much
In just a span of a few months.

I never imagined
To be left with memories,
Flashbacks and echoes
Of "I can't breathe"s
And late-night talks.

Falling in love
Then discarded
Like I was a mere
Newspaper used
To soak up
The dirty dishwater.

I came to find out
That being in your arms
Was my favorite place
In the whole wide world.

Questions of
"What do you want?"
"Can I?"
"Is it good?"

Whispered words of
"Tell me"
"Please"
"Look at me"

Giggles and gasps,
Moans and sighs,
I replay it all
In my mind.

I came to know
What each look meant.
Wide-eyed, open-mouthed.
Sweet smile, half-lidded eyes.

I loved discovering you.
Why couldn't I
For the rest of our lives?

I'd risk it all
To be with you again.
But your foot
Seemed frozen
In the same place,
Never willing
To take that step.