Love Cubed

Chapter 18

Thursday, November 9th

Lillian

Today is my eighteenth birthday. 

I kind of wished it happened at a better point in my life. That seems to be the curse with your eighteenth birthday, most people I know felt like shit when they turned into an adult.

Homecoming was a major disappointment this year. Lexi had been trying to set me up with a date all week. 

"What about Noah's friend Samuel?" She said one day, "He's a wrestler."

"Ew," I replied, "wrestling makes me think of sweat and ringworm." 

"Okay, there's also Gabriel. He's been single for about a month." 

"I don't know, he seems like a douche."

"Lily, I know you're still recovering from Tyler, but you can't think every guy is a man-whore."

I crossed my arms, "That's not what I think of every guy Lexi!"

"Then who would you be fine with going to homecoming with?"

I hesitated, "Danny Underwood. The new kid."

Alexis laughed, "Are you serious, Lily? What's so special about him?"

I've noticed she's been doing that a lot recently. She wants to help me to get a boyfriend again, except when I actually tell her how I feel, she judges me. Alexis is supposed to be my best friend, but instead she acts like a doctor that makes fun of you while they put on the cast.

I continued, "He just seems nice. I mean, I've caught him staring at me from time to time; he probably thinks I'm attractive. And I am kind of starting to think that he's cute. But Danny already has a date to homecoming."

"Really?" She asked, "Who is he going with?"

"Katelynn."

"Katelynn? The freak with the camera? I never hear her talk; she seems like such a pushover. You know, if you wanted me to, I could probably get those two to call off homecoming and you could go with Danny."

"Lexi!" I was shocked, "I've talked to Katelynn, she's too sweet to go through that."

"Do you want a date to homecoming or not, Lily?"

I sighed, "Yes, I do. Just set me up with Samuel."

And so that's what Alexis did. I tried to enjoy Homecoming, I really did, I just didn't want to be there with Samuel. He was wearing cologne, but whenever I got close to him all I could think of was the smell of teenagers throwing each other around on torn wrestling mats. At one point, I spotted Katelynn and Danny in their matching red outfits.

That's a good dress for her. It fits her well. My dress is so bland. I was going to buy the sparkly white dress until mom said that it didn't fit me. I wish I had a body like Katelynn.

Throughout the rest of the week, I saw Katelynn and Danny hanging out even more. Lexi was the one who confirmed to me that they were dating. That's one of the worst feelings, when someone you love is in a relationship with a good person. One part of me wants them to break up and the other part of me knows they're right for each other.

It was just my mom and I at the apartment on my birthday. My friends would come to my birthday party on the weekend. Mom cooked us dinner and we ate while watching some mindless TV. When I had only a few bites left, she stood up and walked towards the freezer. 

"Since it's your birthday today, I want to give you something for dessert." She said. Mom pulled out a carton of vanilla ice cream and set it on the counter. She walked to the pantry and came back with chocolate syrup and Oreos. 

"I know that this is your first day of being an adult, and you might want to immediately grow up. But I remember how happy these sundaes made you when you were younger."

She placed the bowl of ice cream in front of me. The chocolate syrup coated the scoops of vanilla ice cream. The Oreos were crushed up and sprinkled on top. The sickly-sweet smell entered my nostrils.

Oh boy, even more junk to add to my body.

I twisted my face into a big-toothy grin, "Thank you mom." I didn't want my mom to feel bad, so I started shoveling ice cream into my mouth even though I didn't want to eat it. The chill of the sundae traveled through my digestive system. It felt like my waistband was already stretching. When I was done, I put my dishes into the sink and scurried off to my room.

I tried to relax and watch a movie, still I felt like I was turning into a rock. I closed my eyes and thought of how to get this feeling to go away.

If Danny were here, cuddling with me, I would feel wanted. I wouldn't feel like a slob. He would ditch Katelynn if I were thinner. Men love skinny women.

I tied my hair into a ponytail. If I wanted to get with Danny, I would have to burn off these extra calories. 

It was 8:00 PM by the time I decided I was going to work out. Mom had said goodnight to me and started to get ready for bed. I stepped onto our treadmill and set a 30-minute timer on my phone. When I turned on the treadmill, I twisted the speed dial as far as it would go. 

I was going to run until the time was up. I didn't care how tired I was going to get. I needed to look prettier. It had been a few months since I had done one of my workouts, my body wasn't as used to the endurance test as it used to be. Black spots started to appear in my vision. I blinked and wiped the sweat off my forehead, hoping it would be enough to go back to normal.

By the time my alarm went off, I just barely had enough energy to turn the treadmill off and step back onto the carpet. I figured water must be what I needed. My feet started to lead me to the kitchen, with each step my vision got blurrier. I grabbed a cup and filled it with cold water, but I didn't have enough energy to stand anymore. That's when my vision completely went black.

***

When I opened my eyes, I was sprawled out on the floor. The cup that was full of water before was now rolling on the floor, empty. A puddle of water was in front of me.

I slowly sat up, grabbed the cup off the floor, and refilled it with water. I took sips and sat down in a chair. My mom's door opened, and she walked out.

"Lily, I heard a loud bang." She said with concern, "Did you fall, honey?"

"Yeah," I looked at the puddle that was on the ground, "I just spilt some water. I was going to clean it up but then I slipped. I'm okay, mom."

"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried. Good night again, Lily."

"Good night, mom."