I don't like to think of myself as a girl. I mean, maybe I do a little but I don't like to be referred to as such. I'm not a guy, at least, I don't think so. I don't like girls in the way a straight guy likes girls, if that makes sense. I like girls the way a lesbian does, but I have no other desire to relate to being a girl. I hate some of the things feminine about myself... it makes me dysphoric. Not most things, mostly just my chest. But... I imagine that if I were super masculine in particular ways, I wouldn't like it either. I think I kind of pass as a cis guy at the moment, even if that does require me to hide within loose clothing. I wish I had a binder or some binding method; with that, I could wear whatever I wanted and be comfortable. I try to look like a cis guy, but I don't know if it's just because if I don't people will assume I'm a girl or if I genuinely want to look like I was assigned male at birth. I know I don't tend to care how others perceive me, but deep down... deep down sometimes I wonder if maybe, perhaps I do care a little. I mean, why else would I be dysphoric if I don't care how I'm perceived? It just... doesn't make sense.
Actually, maybe it does make sense. I suppose it's not about how others perceive me, but about how I perceive myself. Or maybe it's a little bit of both. Either way, it doesn't matter.
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A Trans Human's Nonsensical Thoughts
Short Storytw: gender dysphoria, probably mental health stuff (if any of that can be triggering for you, proceed with consideration and caution) A peek into my mind, a place of unorganized chaos, as I try to discover who I really am. This isn't entirely about...
