FORGET ME (not) ⭑ Finnick Odair

chapter 4

During breakfast you can't help but frown. The favoritism towards Xavier is blinding, sure they boy seems to be good at everything he does and seeing Beetee being so full of himself makes you want to vomit. You haven't got any chances to show yourself and present your hidden talents (that are so hidden you are not even were of them). Sitting next to him you feel like a side character, someone who can be sacrificed so their golden boy can pull it through. There is nothing that can you make feel any better, that's why after eating small breakfast you go straight to the desserts. Eating the third lemon macaroon and sipping your extra sugary latte you put on a good face to the bad game. Minutes ago you have decided to try and win over Beetee as Wiress seems to be absent again and you suppose she won't be much of a help in an area. If you win his favor maybe he will convince Xavier to make an alliance with you, which would allow you to stab him in the back in the area. Your plan seems convincing but you are not sure how would you realize that - you have only two weeks to transform into a murderer that would ideally not break down in the middle of killing. The odds are definitely against you as you are neither skilled in this matter nor able to imagine yourself murdering anyone with cold blood. You need to start acting now if you want to survive day one.

"Beetee, what's your opinion about alliances? And what do you think would higher our chances?" Interrupting the conversation you try to make contact with your mentor. "By the way, I think training separate won't do us any good," you inhale. Before falling asleep you tried to come up with the idea how to get closer to Xavier. Initially you wanted to train separately, but he must start seeing you as more than just a hopeless girl. "If Wiress is unable to help us that leaves me and him with you and I think the sooner we start the better," you start speaking faster and faster, trying to get to your point sooner. "Maybe we could start training today, in this train?" You propose shyly.

"Woah, girlie, slow down!" Says Xavier mocking you. First of all, you are not a girlie and second, you won't slow down. Until your last breath.

"I think she is not speaking nonsense," adds Beetee. 'Why the sudden change of heart?' He looks at you, looking for answers.

"If you were to agree to my proposition and started helping us now then we wouldn't have to wait until we reach Capitol and each of us got their personal trainer. It is only logical that now we all spend time together learning and coming up with strategy, am I not right?" You bat your eyelashes at both of them, impatiently waiting for an answer.

The rest of the morning you spend discussing how to win the games and learning unknown facts from the past - like how your mentor electrocuted six people securing his win. You wouldn't have guessed it ever, but you suppose that everything can be a weapon. In your case the greatest of them all is your mind, as it seems that your tactics seem to be working as Xavier enters your room later that day.

You talk about everything and at the same time nothing, while you are both painfully aware that you are both leaving something behind and whoever comes alive from this won't be unchanged. In the worst case scenario (and at the same time the most probable one), when you both die you have agreed that you want to change something from others from your District. You will show them all, that the kids from Three are not to be looked down upon. There is a crazy idea forming at your head but you are too unsure of it for now, to say it out loud. Before he leaves you to your own thoughts he makes an unexpected confession. Playing with his own hands he says: "About those knives... I kind of lied as not to seem weak, you see in the fabric we have darts and I'm quiet good at this game so I figured throwing knives and darts aren't that different." Dear God, you just realized how awkward your companion is. You chuckle. "Don't worry about it." You smile, but it doesn't reflect your real emotions. You have to come up with different plan, because pairing up with him doesn't seem to guarantee your safety even on day one anymore. When he leaves you want to rip all your hair out. You can't feel too disappointed about him lying because you are not any better. You can't see any resolution to your situation, you feel helpless and this is what it takes for you to breakdown and start crying.

Life is already too short and you won't allow yours to be cut in half. When it starts to be getting dark outside you emerge from your room. You want to binge watch the previous games to learn from the mistakes of your predecessors. It resembles watching sacrificial lambs being slaughtered by animals that only wear human skins. Nothing about Careers seems to be real, when they fight they are not people anymore but wild creatures that find joy in killing. Everything about them screams to stay away and pray they won't find you. You note that some children and teens from your District are smart but never enough to survive. Some of them build impressive weapons, but there is no point in them as they can't use it properly. Eating an apple to give your brain sweet sugar rush you come up with a brilliant idea. You want to start laughing but you remind yourself that it is night already and you don't want to wake anybody up.

Here's the thing you came up with. You have two mentors who have won a long time ago, but Careers have recent Victors. That means they are being mentored by people who won one, two or five years ago. What you have to do is to watch the recent games and try to understand their respective fighting styles and strategies. They might have been preparing for the Games back in their Districts but it's the Mentors who ultimately shape them into who they are in the Area - there is no other explanation why 1 and 2 fight like beasts and 4 tends to lay low until they pull something out of their sleeves. That scares you, not knowing what to expect from them - they can fight, place traps, catch you in a makeshift net or drown you.

Watching the recaps helps you in formulating the intricate plan. If you play it well they will remember you for a long time, just as you remember the boy from 65th Hunger Games who seemed to be just unreal - sure he was a killer but in contrast to other Careers he didn't seem to be taking immeasurable joy from taking lives. His skills with trident and knife made him deadly but what amazed you was his ability to make traps and create makeshift nets that actually worked and held tributes in place until they were met with their unavoidable death. Watching all of this makes you want to scream. YOU CANT WIN THE GAMES. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD. But after all, you can't let the hope in you die.