Home Away From Home

I'm So Sorry

I don't think I'll be finishing this book. I'm sorry. I've lost interest in it and it's gotten to the point where I dread having to write anything for it. That's not the vibe I wanna have when writing because fanfic is supposed to be a fun hobby that I can use to escape reality. When I don't enjoy writing something, that comes across in my writing.

Writing for this book feels like a chore to me now. I feel like I owe it to my long time, or even new, readers but I just can't. Fanfic writing isn't my job, I don't (and can't) get paid for it and I don't enjoy it anymore.

That's not to say I won't be writing at all, because that's the furthest thing from the truth (see my 60+ fanfic WIPs spanning across 8 fandoms and 2 original story ideas), but it's just this book that's weighing me down. Not to mention how cringe-inducing rereading my old writing is.

So, after a long, long period of deliberation, I am so sorry to announce that this book won't be continued.

I had about 400 words written for this chapter before I quit so here is the last little bit of this story:

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Harry chewed at his lower lip and fiddled with quill in his hands. He'd been given the all clear to leave the hospital wing but he still felt off. He'd been told that Dumbledore would get involved if something like... that happened again.

Snape had informed the headmaster of Harry's episode and how his occlumency practice appeared to have paid off. That meant that Snape would no longer be teaching him occlumency (thank god). Unfortunately, though, Harry felt as though he still needed it. His mental barriers and protections weren't infallible; they'd only been able to convince Voldemort to leave instead of preventing him entry in the first place.

He was this close to asking Draco and Hermione to help him learn more but a bubble of air formed every time he thought of doing it. He didn't want either of them to be exposed to his... how could he put it? His less than pleasant defences should he fail to keep them out.

He was also nervous about the possibility of Voldemort succeeding in using Harry's mind. If either of them, especially Draco, were caught inside his head while Voldemort was there, then disaster could be spelled easier than a lumos. Even if he couldn't reach other minds through Harry's, he would still know of their involvement and target them.

He sighed grumpily at his essay. There was no chance of him getting it finished before the next DA meeting. They were working on the stunning spell and impediment jinx as revision before Christmas break and maybe give them a demonstration of how a serious duel could go. Harry also wanted to remind them of how well they had done in such a short time.

He felt kind of proud of being the one to teach them so much. Teaching felt almost natural to him, he was able to slot into the role easily. Memories of Remus Lupin's classes and some of Moody-Jr's classes, and the fun he had in them, fuelled his desire to give that kind of classroom experience to the DA.

They were relying on him to teach them how to defend their lives and pass DADA. He had to do right by them, unlike half of their defence teachers before him. He couldn't teach them properly if he was disappearing into his own head and preoccupied with his own worries.

"I'm gonna go take a walk. I'll meet you at book club." Harry said, packing up his stationery and standing.

Ron and Hermione looked up from their own homework. "Alright, Harry, see you then." Hermione replied, probably seeing that he needed some downtime.

He waved to them both and vacated the library. He didn't have a concrete destination in mind but he had to make sure he would be back in time for the meeting.