hiraeth

new beginnings

I awoke with a violent jolt, sitting myself up immediately. i was covered in a cold sweat. my heart pounding, weighing extra heavy. it was a mere 18 days after the funeral. and i dont know how much longer i could go pretending i was okay.

i looked to the left of me, the picture of my parents my sisters and me lying on my bedside table.

taking a few deep breaths i turned and planted my feet on the cold floor.

everything was packed, all but an outfit of which i was planning to wear meeting the walters.

id look presentable, but not as fancy and formal as my sister. we had very different styles, very different personalities, and very different friends.

although ive noticed how lonely jackies been lately, her friends barely calling. ive contacted a few of mine, but i couldnt find myself trying to go out.

i tried to hang around the house and spend time with jackie, but, to be frank, she was a complete mess.

which is why, as i walked out into the living room, i had been completely blown away by her presence.

she hadnt been out of her room in days, and now she stood infront of me, smiling widely, her hair in a slick back pony tail, and a basic newyorkan outfit.

she rushed towards me, engulfing me in a hug.

i patted her back, my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

i leaned away from her, grabbing her shoulders. i looked her up and down at first, then i cupped her cheeks.

"are you okay?" jackie asked, her own eyebrows scrunching as she grabbed my hands and lowered them from her cheeks.

"yeah, yeah fine. why are you so... abnormaly normal, today?" i tried to find the right words.

jackie shook her head.

"were starting new. a fresh, clean slate. i plan to use that to my advantage." she spoke.

"arent you.. scared?" jackie shook her head again.

"i mean.. were leaving the town we were born and raised, leaving uncle richard, leaving-" jackie raised her finger at me. stopping me.

"dont. dont say it." she brushed past me then, walking to her room, slamming the door.

i sighed.

"i wish you were here mom." i whispered.

....

struggling, i pushed my suit case into the compartment above my seat.

"come on" i pushed on it harder, before it finally went in, quickly shutting the lid before it could pop back out.

i took my seat beside jackie, leaning over to her. pressing a kiss to her cheek.

i squeezed her hand tightly, smiling a tight lip smile at her.

"new beginnings, right?" she nodded vigorously, "new beginnings."

......

"hi uncle richard." jackie sighed.

"hey girls, was the flight okay?" Our uncle replied.

"fine." jackie replied for the both of us.

she wasnt as cheery as she was this morning, she looked more worn out, sad.

"you doing okay?" Our uncle asked, mainly directed towards jackie.

"yep." she popped the p.

"listen im sorry i couldnt come with you two to meet the walters. i-"