My Hero

"OH FUCKING SHIT FUCK!"

Stede heard Ed shout in the living room, along with the sound of wooden furniture crashing to the floor, with the sound of bare feet thumbing against the carpet, the wood floor, and then the carpet once more.

Stede was in their kitchen preparing their meal for dinner, using a meat cleaver to chop off the heads of fish that Ed and procured after a long morning of fishing. He planned to make a stew with the meat, along with sorted vegetables that he had just harvested from their ever-growing garden and using seasonings that Roach had brought them during the crew's last visit. He would have continued to chop the last of the fishes' heads when the sound of Ed yelling along with furniture crashing caused him to pause mid-chop, looking to the doorway that led to the living room.

"Ed?!" He called out in worry, never hearing Ed sounding so scared. He clutched the cleaver tightly, the fish forgotten as he rushed out of the kitchen, ready to fight whatever had his lover screaming like that. The former gentleman pirate ran into the living room, the cleaver over his head as he scanned the room seeing one of their side tables on the floor as he searched for Ed or the danger.

"I'm here! I'm here! Where's the danger?!" He asked with a shout, looking around for the attacker that frightened Ed.

He then saw movement behind their furniture in the middle of the room, causing him to clutch the cleaver tighter but he let out a sigh in relief when he noticed that it was just Ed, peering his head over the ruby-red velvet antique couch that he found in the market by chance. Ed had a look of fear in his big round eyes that Stede had never seen before, looking like he had seen a ghost. Stede put on a brave face, wondering what the hell could scare the dread pirate Blackbeard this bad. He went to ask where the danger was once more but he paused when Ed lifted himself slightly over the couch.

"There!" Ed wheezed, pointing toward the ground causing Stede to look where he was pointing.

Stede expected it to be a robber of some sort, the English navy somehow finding them and recognizing Ed as a pirate, or even Izzy Hands somehow back from the dead. What he didn't expect was to see a teeny tiny black spider standing on the rug, looking up right at them.

The blonde man blinked a couple of times, slowly lowering his cleaver as he looked at the eight-legged creature. It was no bigger than a pence and could probably fit on his thumb. He then looked back at Ed, whose wide eyes were on him now.

"... The spider?" He questioned, slowly pointing to the arachnid with his free hand.

"Yes, the fucking spider!" Ed snapped clutching the edge of the couch like a lifeline, still hiding behind it as he glared at Stede. "What else would I be pointing to!?"