Finding Finnick

Goodbyes

After Finnick passes the exam, I don't see him much because the majority of his day is dedicated to training. He briefly explains to me how his new trident works and I listen, enjoying his happiness and enthusiasm. He tells me about his squad members, Boggs, the commander; Jackson, who is second in command; Leeg 1 and Leeg 2, the almost identical sisters; then Mitchell and Holmes, the best shooters in the group.

One day after training Finnick comes home angry.

"What happened?" I ask.

Finnick paces around our small space and says, "Our squad got its assignment today."

"I'm guessing you aren't happy with what it is?"

"None of are. We're the 'Star Squad,' " he quotes with his fingers. "Plutarch says we have to be the on screen faces of the invasion. So basically we won't be doing any actual fighting."

"I thought you knew the cameras would be with you," I say, trying to reassure him while my own heart is soaring with relief.

"I knew there would be cameras, but none of us knew that we would be used as props! We didn't think it would be our assignment," Finnick fumes.

"So you won't be fighting?"

"No. We have targets, but no fighting." He sits down wearily and shakes his head. "All my dreams of rebelling against the Capitol and actually fighting them for what they've done...they were so close, but now they're gone. Maybe I should resign from the squad altogether."

"Finnick, don't give up so easily. You may not be fighting, but you are still helping," I insist. "You'll be giving us all hope and someone we can cheer for visually. We won't be left in the dark about what's going on."

"Plutarch said almost the same thing," Finnick mumbles. He shakes his head. "Maybe you two are right."

"Yes, we are. Go, Finnick. You've trained too much not to try."

"Okay, okay. I'm not happy about it, but I'll go."

"Good." As much as I would love to tell him to stay, I could never live with myself knowing I did that.

Finnick leaves three days later. Our goodbye is short because the squads are pressed for time.

"I don't know how to say goodbye," I say, feeling myself tearing up. "What if I never see you again?"

"I won't be fighting, Annie. I'm going to come back home to you as soon as possible." He wraps his arms around me and we stay locked in that embrace, silent, just enjoying each other's company while we still can. Five minutes later Finnick is called away. He gives me one last kiss before turning to leave. I take in his image, proud of the soldier I see yet sad at the same time.

"I love you Finnick," I say.

"I love you too, Annie," Finnick waves goodbye. "I'll be back before you know it." He winks and turns around, leaving me wondering what I'm going to do while he's gone.