Ticking Candy Heart

Chapter 2: Bernard

3:46 AM

This was current time and the time when Santa is at the five to third house until all were filled with either boxes of pure joy or a lump of pure disappointment or the time when he's usually back. I approach the mechines in the north to the check on its state and if we need to fix a part or not and as the head elf I have to check on every single thing for any imperfections.

Everyone was off their break and doing their jobs like they should, and if they weren't were they actually elves or short people with weird ears? The mechines were in good shape so I went to the computer room to check on the big lazy bafoon we called Santa.

"How's the big guy?" I ask one of the elves that are tracking the sleigh and how many houses are left, very important. "Nothing right now, still delivering presents." An elf answers while looking at a screen with the whereabouts of him and the sleigh. I lean in to look at the screen with my hat tipping forward slightly. "Well is it the last house?" the elf looks at me and shakes her head no, I groan and back up from the computer.

I place my hands on my hips as a think. After I thank her and walk away to check everything and everyone once again. Why do I still do this? I can give up my immortality and live a normal life, but I don't, why? My nose subconsciouly scrunches up like some rabbit but again, I don't notice.

•{★}•

The entire place was going smoothly as it did for the last thousand years buy that'll change when that lazy, no good Santa comes back. In my opinion, I think having an abominable snowman as a Santa would be better than that shack of no good reindeer shi-

"Bernard!" I was cut out of my train of thought by a pitched voice but saw that it was an elf, of course. "What's going on?" I look at the elf with a tired look. Everytime an elf comes to me it's about something useless but I don't blame them, I'm head elf and in charge of everything. "Santa's back." Oh great. "Alright, thanks for telling me, now back to work."

I walk passed the elf towords the platform, on my way there I can hear a unfamiliar voice, I hear many voices throughout my day but this one sounded off. Until I saw that source. A diffrent guy in Santa's suit that's talking to a girl elf. Seems like the old one croaked. Finally, I hated that guy. I saw that they were arguing so as head elf I gotta step in.

"Hey, who's causing all the trouble here?" When I asked that they pointed and blamed the other like they were kids, well techically the elf looks like one but I ain't got time for that explanation. "Excause me, are we on a coffee break?" I specifcally asked the elf. "We don't drink coffee." She stated.
"Then I guess the break is over. Back to work, thanks." She walks off and the guy looks at me.
"Take it easy on her will ya? Who are you?" I look him up and down judgementally, before answering.
"I'm Bernard, nice to meet you, Santa." I walk off and I hear him saying he ain't Santa before he follows behind me.

During the time he tries to tell me he's not Santa but some business guy in Illinois named Scott I got impatient. I turn to him and make eye contact.

"Look, you're a business man, right? A Clause, as in the last line of a contract." He still looked confused which makes this worse for me and my future ever lasting headache if he doesn't accept the fact he is Santa Clause. "You got the card?" I impatientally say and that gets him to pull out the card. I take it and put it under a magnifying glass beside me and him. As I read the small lettered contract Scott still looked confused as ever as he took it to look closer like that was going to work.

"What does that mean?" He looked panicked now. "It means you put on the suit you're the big guy." I walk off to do my business but he pushed my buttons again which causes me to snap.

"TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS."

Scott finally shuts up and the elves all ooh'd at my outburst, making me smile from irritaion and walk with him through the factory and explaining this whole thing again.

"Let me explain something to you, okay? Toys have to be delivered, I'm not gonna do it, it's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off the roof--you're roof. You read the card, you put on the suit, that clearly falls under the Santa Clause, so now you're Santa okay!?" I turn to him with a mean look and he opens his mouth the speak.

"Question." I roll my eyes at this, if he asks something stupid so help me I'm going to throw him. I don't know how but I will. "What?" I say. "When can I get out of here?" He asks, so I answer "You leave tomarrow morning, you have eleven months to get your affairs in order, and you're due back here Thanksgiving." He looks at me weird. Here we go again.

"I'm not coming back here Thanksgivi-"

"I'll ship you the list to your house." Again, he looks at me confused and seeing that makes me groan. "What list?" I chuckle at this guy's stupidity, he's really that dumb? "Come on...the list." Dear god I gotta sing the song for the millionth time, literally.

"He's making a list.." The moment I say those words all the elves, start singing.
"Checking it twice!"
"He's gonna find out whos naughty or nice!"
"Santa Clause is coming to town!"

I rub my eyes with my thumb and index finger and look up again. "You get the picture, now again," I rush down some flights of stairs while talking. "Judy will lead you to your room! And get that suit off it needs to be cleaned off for Christmas!" When I got out of sight of Scott I start to loosen up till I see an elf in a chef outfit rush to me, as I see the white interior I groan in silence.

"Bernard, Miss. Bonbon wants you for a moment." I pinch the bridge of my nose at that, why now? "Okay, thanks, I'll be there in a sec." The elf nods and walks away.

Great.