Am I Crying?

1

Mina Florals was the girl I could never have. From the time we were six to now, not once has she been even capable of being mine. She'd not been allowed to date until 13 and at that time, was quickly swept off her feet by Edward Collins, the newest member of our small class, all the way from London. A whole month I had to listen to my good friend Mina obsessing over the boy I loathed only because of how charming he was. Finally, Edward moved on to other girls and I was left to comfort a heartbroken Mina. I thought that I would date her after Edward but she chose to focus on Jackson Heathing instead.

Jackson was a sportish boy. He was strong for an eighth grader and could pull three kids on the sleds in the winter. He has a nice jawline, fluffy brown hair and green eyes. He was nearly the opposite of me with my unkept black hair, pale skin and stormy eyes. I was often told that I resembled Severus Snape from Harry Potter. Jackson quickly accepted Mina's suggestions to be together only because she was the prettiest girl in all of the eighth grade. He didn't care about who she really was. She was just for show. I would never have treated her like that. Jackson barely paid attention to her and Mina spent her evenings complaining to me that she thought he'd been snapping other girls. Which he probably had been.

Jackson and Mina lasted exactly seven months and two weeks before Jackson dumped her for Tiffany Mitchell, the only girl in the nineth grade who was willing to have sex. Mina was then quickly scooped up by Keegan Smith, the "hottest boy in nineth grade" who'd tried to get Mina to cheat on Jackson four months prior to their breakup. Keegan and Mina broke up on the third last day of grade 10 because Mina wouldn't have sex with him. He started dating Kierra Davis, Tiffany Mitchell's best friend. Mina remained single the entire summer. On the very last day of summer, I planned to ask her out however, her parents let her know that they were splitting up and I had to be there as her best friend.

School started again and Mina was desperately trying to get her mind off of her parents. She started dating Cole Zanders and let him take her virginity. I heard about it in a drunken voice message from her late one night after her parents fought. They did it drunkenly and drugged in his van somewhere down the street from her house. Little did she know that they did it outside of my house and I'd recognized his van. I knew what must have been happening and I'd slumped around for thirty minutes waiting for the van to leave. I'd thought about calling her phone but she would've killed me for ruining her perfect evening. Mina and Cole, both being a year younger than me lasted until now, while they're in grade eleven and I'm in grade 12.

Two days ago, Cole accidentally called Mina fat and now I am crossing my fingers and hoping that she dumps him. Her parents have officially separated and now it's time for someone to show her how healthy and happy a real relationship is supposed to be. Unlike her dad and all her past boyfriends, I could treat her right. I could buy her roses and take her out to nice restaurants. I could cuddle with her while watching The Notebook or The Conjuring. I could cook her dinner or I could take care of her on a rough day. I'd like to see Edward, Jackson, Keegan or Cole do that. They've only wanted her for her looks or her body but I know who she really is. And I like her for that. I've always liked her for that. Hell, I've loved her for it.

I will wait patiently for her to realize that I've always been and will always be there for her. I was there when she tried to run away after her parents got into a fight. I let her stay in my room for a whole week during the divorce because she didn't feel safe with all the yelling. I was there when she binged The Office in 4 days with little to no sleep. I was there when she felt sick trying to break up with Keegan shortly before he dumped her. I was there when she read a 5 book series and obsessed over it for a month. I listened to every single detail before i could recite every single scene. I was there when she tried crocheting. And painting. And gymnastics. And tap dance. And football. And yoga. And Air Cadets.

Her nickname for me, which is Mr. Prince coordinates with hers, Miss. Florals. It's our last names but I always remember that when she found it on Pinterest, the page was titled "Nicknames for your partner" and she just thought that it was funny that my last name was on there. "Luke look! It says Prince!" I remember her calling me over to the couch from the floor in my living room to look at her phone. Then, I remember her getting a notification from Jackson which she swiped off of the screen, ignoring it. "I'll answer him later." She'd mumbled. I'd felt all warm inside thinking that she'd ignored him for me but she'd gone to text him as soon as I moved back down to the floor. I guess she just didn't want me to know what they'd been talking about.

This of course had led to a lot of overthinking. I mean, what if she didn't want to be my friend anymore? Or if she'd somehow found out that I liked her and now she didn't want to be around me? But that was an absolutely insane thing to think, wasn't it?