"No, that just doesn't work for him. He wants to, he is just too afraid of rejection, because he's insecure and has little self esteem. You know, he's probably just not ready jet. I'm telling you I'm not waisting my time with him, trust me."
And I wish I could see how foolish I was back then, believing that he was just afraid and insecure. On the other hand at least I was happy living in my little fantasy, thinking that one magical day he would finally confess and we wil live happily ever after or something.
And I might still believe it untill now, if I didn't see him flirting with that girl so confidently. And only then I realized that he wasn't insecure, but he just never actually wanted to. I felt so embarassed and for some reason betrayed.
I know what you want to say: "If you really liked him and thought he liked you back, why didn't you shoot your shot?" And it seems hard to explain, except it actually isn't. I guess for some reason deep down I knew it is foolish to think that all along, but chose to ignore it. Because where there is love, there is hope. And of course I was also afraid of rejection. So actually I was the one who wasn't playing by the "If they wanted to, they would" rule. And that is why it was so easy to defend him.
But I was wrong: He didn't want to.
YOU ARE READING
Lover's suffering
PoetryLove isn't alwas so lovely is it? I don't think so either and that's why you would definitely enjoy and relate to this short prose poetry. If you like it, please try to support it by commenting or voting for it. thx <3
