CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time in the Land of Bloom there seemed to be a lot of people that were filled with gloom.
The Land of Bloom was once beautiful and safe, with creatures that loved to run and had lots of space.
These days, The Land of Bloom seems in doom, because of a man who loves to hear a small tune. He turned the Land of Bloom from a place of peace, to a place covered in engine grease.
Busy busy everyone was, busy busy is what everyone does!
Why did this utopia turn into a tomb, you say? Well The Land of Bloom is quite unique. In the Land of Bloom everyone is assigned a job because of the simple minded King named Kob.
King Kob was quite dumb you see, so dumb he'll confuse a banana for a bee.
With his small brain it hurt to think; or maybe he just had too much to drink. Either way, his cranium makes it evident he should be locked inside titanium, uranium, or maybe even vibranium.
Trying to get King Kob to remember everyone's jobs brought him to his brink! How could they expect this poor man to think!
"HEAR YE HEAR YE!!!", King Kob screamed to his mortified mob, "I HAVE A CONFESSION! I CANNOT KEEP TRACK OF EVEN ONE OF YOUR PROFESSIONS! NO! NOT EVEN A SINGLE PROFESSION."
It would be nice to say the crowd was dumbfounded by his confessions about their professions. But truth be told, they knew his brain was worse than mold.
"So because I, King Kob, cannot remember your jobs," he continued to squeal, "You must change your professions. Believe it or not this is very real."
"Your new careers will alleviate all your fears. No need to remember the sound of your personal gain because it will simply rhyme with your name!"
The mob was stunned. King Kob had done it! He had truly done it! He shocked the crowd by his dumbness! They thought they had already achieved high levels of numbness when it came to the King's lack of bluffness.
"I, King Kob, will give out the jobs. If your career and name don't rhyme, it surely is a crime!" the King decreed.
The following morning the mob made an uncontrollable sob as they got their newly assigned jobs. They went to the castle where the King was sure to cause quite a hassle, while he practically threw away everyone's hard earned tassels.
With a mighty wicked list out stepped the King with an unruly little twist.
"This list, in which I thoroughly kissed, is the new list of your forced professions. Yes, you think you love your current job, but what is love? Something you do for fun that promotes laziness, something you do to create craziness, or something you do to disappoint your royal highness?" The King asked rhetorically. "I do the thinking for you so you'll never have to choose!"
The mob stirred. They were angry because King Kob called their passions craziness, when this was all the people knew and loved. It was not craziness, it was creativeness, why was that so wrong?
One woman stood up and said, "King Kob, oh how I do love my current job. I am a doctor. I get to help when people yelp. I heal the sick from disease and ticks. I studied for years for a career such as this; without school there is so much one might miss! This is far too much of a risk! For you to give it to a random peer caused quite a concern and it is completely.. you know I can't think of the word - ah wait! It's absurd!!!"
King Kob leaned forward onto his podium and let out a deep sigh. "What is your name?" He asked.
The woman looked hesitant, but very loudly and cautiously stated,".. Beatrice.."
With a spark of malice in his eye, he stared Beatrice down until she felt like nothing more than a piece of dirt. It was easy to tell this man was truly quite callous. He smiled a smirk that could only possibly come from a jerk.
He inhaled deeply and said: "Beatrice you say?" As he held his devilish grin. Beatrice gulped and nodded. King Kob continued, "You say you're in medicine of some sort, like a nurse mayb--"
Beatrice interrupts.
"Doctor." She corrects the King firmly.
"Yes, exactly. A midwife or baby doctor." Said the King.
"Sir I am actually a neurosurge--"
"Exactly! How can anyone remember your career if they cannot rhyme it with your name! It's obscene to make people think when all we want to do is give you a wink."
"Sir that seems very rude and-"
"- Just wait, you'll love this too!!" King Kob obnoxiously interrupted. "You work with babies so you must be delicate."
"Actually I don't, I work with brains."
"That's what I said, babies."
"No there is a differe-"
"SO you're good with your hands because of the baby brains. Your name is Beatrice. You would make a perfect waitress!!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Yes, yes you are welcome. Your problems are gone and now this conversation is done. If you say another peep, I'll have to feed you to the sheep." King Kob threatened.
"Then who will be the doctor?!" A voice from the crowd cried.
Silently King Kob lifted his hands over his eyes to get a better look at the crowd.
"Anyone who's name ends in -or, step forward."
The crowd formed a circle around the only two people that ended their names with -or in the town. Victor and Hector. The 8 year old twins that ate bugs for breakfast and toads for lunch.
"A yes!! Quite good indeed!!" King Kob exclaimed in a giddy tone.
"These two boys are of fine stock and their names fit perfectly! We now have two doctors which is statistically better than one! Look at the numbers, look at the facts, two is better than one you filthy little rats."
The mob gasped and someone yelled, "But sir they're only 8!"
With Victor and Hector next to the podium, each child with a shoulder firmly gripped by King Kob's hands. "These fine boys will do you good, let's just say it's in their blood!"
The crowd started to moan and groan. Then the King slammed his hand on the podium and shouted: "ENOUGH! YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The crowd grew silent. Everyone could hear the sweat droplets falling from the king's head and rolling onto the floor. Making a loud splash whenever a large drop fell to the ground.
"These boys are right, it's in their stock. They have the names that rhyme with docs. We have no choice you see, I'm responsible for all of your destiny. This is my way and it is here to stay. Get used to it or you will quickly be dismayed." With a final THUD, the room rang still. Now everyone had to accept two 8 year olds, who ate toads, as their responsible doc, while the surgeon was now bound to wear an old smok.
This is the day every person became the profession that rhymes with their name.
So you ask why The Land of Bloom is so gloomy, when it used to be so up and groovy. Well the answer, you see, is that there was a King named Kob and he was dumber than a knob.
He was selfish and a hog.
He completely ruined the air with smog.
Oh I fear I am dragging on too long.
Let me explain how this story truly became so glum. The actions that followed were very quite dumb. This story is about the child who makes it all better. Except they're still a ways in the future, meaning there's still much for King Kob to butcher. Look for the child named Sawyer who is destined to be a Lawyer, or in their very own twist of tongue, they might be one - or they might just run.
For Sawyer you see, is the one who changes destiny.
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Sawyer Might Be A Lawyer
AdventureWhen my child was first born - we were desperately singing made up songs to try to soothe them..The song that stuck the most was the word play of "Sawyer, Sawyer - Sawyer might be a Lawyer" instantly made a change. Any crying was soothed almost ins...
