A Pernicious Facade

A Revelation

Xie glanced at Zhen before speaking, "How do you think we should start?" His gaze was fixed on the desk now, not wanting any unnecessary eye contact with Zhen.
"Fuck, I don't know. You're supposed to be the smart one." The other replied, grinding his teeth. Zhen felt irritated by the fact that they were partners, and Xie's indifference didn't help at all. When Xie didn't respond, he spoke again, "I'll ask other people what they're doing." He sighed, standing up and walked towards other people.
Xie watched him discussing the project with their other classmates, but also noticed his expression. He understood that Zhen was probably complaining about being partnered with him. Xie took a deep breath, wondering how they could possibly complete the project.

While other students found similarities in one another, the two boys had absolutely nothing in common. Xie was reserved and intelligent, whereas Zhen was popular but troubled.

After a long while, Zhen sat back down next to Xie. "Since the project is about academics and its relationship to popularity, I think you should begin by telling me how much of a loser you are." Zhen teased, wanting to provoke him.
Xie looked over at him with an annoyed expression, "Actually, why don't you start by telling me how fucking stupid you are?"
Zhen's expression switched, his brow furrowing in annoyance. He didn't respond, he couldn't think of anything to say. He sighed.
"Okay, let me ask you a question." Xie said, his face returning to normal. "Do you ever avoid doing homework so you can hang out with your friends?"
Zhen adjusted in his seat before responding. "Yeah, sometimes." He watched as Xie raised his eyebrows, clearly not surprised by the answer. Zhen grinded his teeth, annoyed by Xie's arrogance.
"Now, you ask me a question." Xie looked at the other boy, waiting for whatever stupid question he may ask.
Zhen took a moment, thinking of what question he may ask. His gaze flickered back to Xie's, "Do you avoid talking to other people because they're not as smart as you?"
"You could say that, yes." Xie leaned back in his chair as he responded.
"Arrogant prick."
Xie rolled his eyes at Zhen's comment. He looked at the clock at the front of the room, noting that there was only a few more hours of school. His voice was calm as he spoke, "Do you feel better about yourself when you put other people down?" The question wasn't related to the project, but Xie figured it was a good time to ask.
"You know what, man? Fuck you. You're just some stupid know-it-all who thinks you can say whatever you want." Zhen growled, standing up and walking away from Xie.
Xie rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, composing himself. He thought of Zhen as an emotionally immature brat who couldn't handle hearing the truth. He ignored Zhen walking away and turned his gaze out the window. He thought about how Mei-Ling had thrown the book out of the window and how he'd have to buy a new copy. Xie sighed, reluctant to waste his money on something that shouldn't have even happened.

As the school day ended, Xie packed up his belongings and walked out of the classroom. On the way out, something fell from his bag. Zhen chatted idly with others before eventually departing from the classroom. On the way out, he noticed a blue notebook on the ground with the name Xie Qiao on the front. He smirked, picking it up. As he walked through the corridors, he began flipping through the pages. Most were filled with schoolwork or other meaningless words, but one page caught Zhen's attention. He read it carefully,

"In the shadows of laughter and camaraderie, I exist as a mere whisper, concealed beneath layers of pretense." The opening paragraph began, a heavy secret soon to be unveiled. "I navigate through Jiangxi High School, an elaborate stage of conformity. My academic achievements hide a truth I dare not reveal.
The secrets I carry on my shoulders, a heavy burden that threatens to shatter the facade I've meticulously constructed. Behind the mask of the quiet scholar, a part of me remains hidden, obscured by the fear of being outcasted.
My heart harbors a truth that society deems unacceptable, disgusting. A truth that would cast me into the cold embrace of judgement and disdain. I am gay, and the mere thought of exposing this reality sends tremors of fear through my being. I long for acceptance, to be seen for who I truly am, yet the risk of revealing my authentic self feels insurmountable.
The orchestrators of torment in my daily life are oblivious to the truth. The bullying cuts deep, each taunt a reminder of the vulnerability I am forced to conceal.
This page of my journal bears witness to the silent struggle etched into the fabric of my existence. In the silence of these words, I find solace. Perhaps one day, the courage to share this truth will emerge, and the weight of secrecy will be lifted. Until then, I navigate the halls as a phantom, grappling with the paradox of visibility and invisibility, longing for a world where authenticity can exist without fear."

As Zhen finished reading the page, a wave of conflicting emotions washes over him. The entry exposes a vulnerability in Xie that Zhen never anticipated. At first, he felt uncomfortable and guilty, a question he couldn't understand arising within himself, but he quickly brought himself back to reality. This was disgusting, truly vile. Homosexuality should never be allowed to exist in this world, a mortal sin that could ruin everything in its path. Zhen felt a wave of hatred and nausea wash over him. He rips the page from the journal, along with another clean sheet. On that sheet, he wrote
"XIE QIAO IS GAY"
Feeling content with himself, he walked to the bulletin board at the entrance gate of the school. He pinned the two papers next to each other, covering the actual news with his revelation of Xie's sexuality.
He walked home, the same question from before stirring within him, "Does the concealed reality behind my mask bear a semblance to his truth?"