Jar of Hearts

Not Your Choice

We went the next few days without finding anyone, scavenging for a way to get food and water in the burning heat.
Daryl and Carl had left the intended the car while they went off to go to the bathroom. Daryl had said,"The world is our oyster. Why not piss on it?"
As the came back, I heard the all too familiar moan of the walkers. I bared my knife and lunged in my left direction, the way in which the sound was coming from.
The walkers snapped and bared its teeth, but I lifted my hand and brought the sharp blade down and finished it off.
Carl took all the energy he had and limped as quickly as possible to me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I looked at him,"Don't worry. I can take care of myself. I'm fine."
Daryl looked from Carl to me and then back to car. "Is there something going on between you two?" He asked.
Carl and I looked at each other and both shrugged. I wasn't really sure if there was something going on. I was still confused on what it was like to have a romantic relationship considering I hadn't really had any strong nonromantic relationships.
We could have been just friends. We could have been boyfriend and girlfriend. Or maybe even friends with benefits. But one thing was for certain.
It was a relationship that I sort of trusted.
Normally, I had a sort of weariness around people, but when I was with Carl, I didn't feel that. I felt more like civil person in a normal world even thought I was a fucked up girl in the zombie apocalypse.
"Okaaaaay," Daryl said with a small smirk,"I get it."
I laughed, "I don't think you do."
Carl laughed sheepishly and we all got back into the car and continued our journey.
I smiled and muttered,"I don't even get it."

Days went by and there was no sign of anyone. No Maggie. No Beth. Nobody.
Every so often we were forced to stop and then the walkers would approach and every time we did, Carl would stop and check if I was okay. Each and every time, I would tell him I was.
After about the fifth day, it was starting to get annoying.
I didn't understand why Carl just couldn't get it through his head that I could take care of myself and that I had been basically all my life.
On the sixth day, I called him out on it.
"Why the hell are you always worrying about me?" I asked, annoyed.
He flinched,"I-"
"No," I said, "It's annoying."
I could tell his mold change by the look on his face,"I'm sorry. I just thought it would be nice for someone to actually care for you."
I glared at him,"What is that supposed to mean?"
He rolled his eye and turned away,"Nothing."
"No. Tell me."
He turned back and looked me I the eyes with a hard expression in his face,"I care about you and you know it. I hope and wish every day that you care for me back, but it never seems to come true because everytime I turn around, your wallowing in your own self pity and you'd be damned if anyone ever came close to you."
"Well, maybe I like it like that," I said,"Maybe I don't want anyone close to me for a reason. Maybe everyone who ever gets close to me gets hurt. Maybe I don't t want that to hurt anyone of you."
I felt the sting of tears come to my eyes and turned away from him.
Suddenly I felt the warmth of his arms around my waist.
" Honestly, I wouldn't mind being hurt by you Chris. Neither would my family. We've all been through it and we all had to deal with it. What's one more heartbreak?"
I turned in his arms and looked I to his eyes,"But I don't want to."
He kissed my forehead,"That's not really your choice."
He lifted my chin to his own and pressed his lips against mine.
Suddenly Daryl rushed up to us,"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I saw the group."
Carl and I separated and looked in the direction that he was pointing.
I saw the boots that I had always looked at from the distance and admired.
"Maggie!"