I Want To Write You A Song

Really?

I walked into the studio on monday, at 7:45 am, my head was splitting. I pushed it back in my mind, -literally- trying to ignore it. But of course nothing was gonna go my way. I dropped my water bottle and it rolled underneath someone's car, so I spent 10 minutes retrieving that. Then my printer broke -of course- and I left my medication at home...well now it's 11:00, yes, it's only been three hours...and I'm trying to get through until lunch, when I could run back home to get my medicine, we'll, more like sprint. Just one more hour left and I can fina—

A knock sounded at my door. I groaned quietly, trying to keep whoever was on the other side from hearing the pounding in my head. I kinda hoped that it was Harry, but I knew the odds of my tone being anything but annoyed we're unlikely, but my bad luck hadn't run out for today.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come out to lunch with us?"

"Um..."

"If you want...I mean...I know you're busy."

"No, no...uh...I actually have to run home and grab something, and I don't have a car...so you know, I don't know if I have time."

"Oh...well, one of us could take you on the way there. Drop you off and then we can all go to the restaurant."

"I- uh- are you sure?"

"Yes, of course."

"Oh well... if you're sure..."

"I am.

"Then I'd love to."

"Okay, well, meet us out there at 11:45."

"Okay, thank you."

I shut the door quietly. I won't even lie and say a scarlet tint had risen to my cheeks. I looked at my analog, noting the time. 11:12. I turned my office lights off, set an alarm for 11:40, and laid down on my couch. Maybe I could sleep a little to try and subside the ache in my head a little bit.

When I woke up to the blaring noise, I brushed my hair out of my face, grabbed my things, locked my door, and the front door, and met the others outside. They all looked in my direction, smiling. Harry stepped towards me, grinning.

"Ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah." I watched as He nodded towards his Range Rover. I followed him, opening the back passenger door, and set my stuff on the middle seat.

"You can sit up front if you'd like. It's just us."

"Oh are you sure?"

He smiled, "Yeah, of course."

I grabbed my purse and my water bottle and got in the front seat. Damn, this car is nice. I drive a fucking 2011 Honda. He started the car, turning around to check the mirrors briefly before pulling out of the parking lot. He looked towards me, still grinning, "Where to miss?"

I gave him the simple directions and he nodded.

He turned on the radio, not bothering with the station, "When I Look At You" by Miley Cyrus playing. "I love this song."

He turned to me smiling. "It's not what I usually listen to, but it is really good."

I started to mumble along to it. "There is no guarantee...that this life is easy, yeah, when my world is falling apart, when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when I, I, I look at you."

He turned up the volume. Singing along with me. "When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I, I, I look at you. When I look at you."

I didn't even realize I was fully singing along. "I see forgiveness, I see the truth. You love me for who I am, like the stars hold the moon."

"Right there where they belong, and I know I'm not alone." This song has meant so much to me, probably because it's true. This life has not been easy. Although when Harry styles is sitting next to me, I feel like my life has been pretty mediocre compared to others, even him. "Yeah, when my world is falling apart, when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when I, I, I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I, I, I look at you."

The song finished, as someone else's played, but he decided to strike up conversation instead. "You can sing, you know?" I couldn't help but blush at the compliment...and his green eyes piercing into mine. "You can. Seriously."

"Thanks."

"Like you could be as famous as me."

"Oh, no, I doubt that, besides, the whole camera in my face 24/7 is definitely NOT my thing."

"Yeah I get that. It's not my thing either if I'm being honest."

"What? But you're one of the biggest artists in the world! You have a GRAMMY."

He laughed at my joke. "I mean yeah, but anyone who says they've gotten used to this is lying. I'm surprised no one saw me when we went to lunch."

"I'm not. I know everyone in that cafe. They couldn't care less about you."

"Well, shit."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." He flashed his cheeky smile at me again.

"Did you know that I have literally rooted for you guys since those first X-Factor episodes. I thought you guys were, like, amazing."

"You were watching X-Factor UK?"

"I had a British girl phase, and it just lasted longer than expected."

"How long?" He asked, trying to hide his chuckle.

"From 2009 to 2016." I replied, hiding my face.

He couldn't hold in his laugh anymore. He was literally laughing in my face. Harry Styles is laughing in my face.

At least I could make him feel bad about it. I turned towards the window. Hiding my face. Two could play at this game

"Sophia...hey, come on, I wasn't laughing at you."

I continued to ignore him. I can't let him win this.

"Come on. Please. You're too pretty to ignore me."

Okay he won. I've never turned towards someone so fast.

Then he laughed again. "Oh so I do exist."

"I guess."

He chuckled. "You guess? We have a choice, you know; to live or to exist."

"I'm sorry but what in the fortune cookie fuck was that?"

"Not a fortune cookie. Just a thought I had one time. But it's true. I mean, everyone exists. We're all here, everyday, but what about the people you remember, or that someone remembered or will remember. Those people chose and will choose to live."

"Did you choose to live?"

"I mean, yeah. My mum signed me up for the x-facto- well, you know. But that morning I had the choice to go or not. I had a choice to agree to One Direction. To be in that band for 5 years, start a solo career, release Watermelon Sugar. And I'm choosing to write this album."

"Wow, it's weird, you know. I work with people daily who will be remembered or make an impact on someone. Every time I talk to them it just kind of reminds me that I'll never impact anyone."

His face fell, full fledged frown. "You've impacted me Sophia."

Excuse me? "What?"

"I'll remember you, you've impacted me."

"How?" I laughed at his response.

"Matilda, I wrote that for you, but I know so many people, fans of mine, who could relate to that just as much as you. Don't you see, if I release that, it's gonna help someone. It might even save their life."

"I could possibly save someone?"

"Yeah, loads of people. But like I said, we have a choice. I won't release it unless you want me to. It is your song after all."

"Wow..."

"Don't feel pressured. I could always write another song. This one can just be yours. It can be between us. No one else has heard it. Well, here's your apartment, I'll be waiting."

"Okay, I'll only be a few minutes."

"Take your time." He smiled as I stepped out of the car. I smiled as I walked towards my apartment. But part of me really did wonder about Matilda. I could save someone? What the hell?