Last Hope (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 3

Niall's POV

The next day I got to school early and decided to go see if I could give my essay to Mr.Malik before class. It would be less embarrassing for me to turn it in now than to have to gave him an essay in front of the class instead of my signed syllabus.

I tapped on his door and heard a muffled come in, making me open the door slowly. I stuck my head in and saw him set down the marker he was using to write on the board before looking at me. He smiled warmly and gestured for me to come in more. I listened, then flipped my damp backpack to my front to pull out the paper.

"I finished that essay. I wasn't sure when you wanted it, but I'm here early so I thought I would bring it to you." I told him nervously. My words were coming out quickly, and I felt my face blush at the smile that was across my teachers face. He took the paper out of my hand and looked over it before setting it on his desk.

"I'll look over it. Um, Mr.Horan, correct?" He asked me. I nodded and let my fingers fidget with the small hole I had at the bottom of my shirt.

"You don't have to be so nervous around me. I'm here to help you and be someone you're comfortable going to with problems, just as much as I am to educate you. If you have any questions or anything for me, this is a judgment free place and there is nothing you could ask me that would shock me." He told me with a light smile. I nodded and felt really comfortable around him, so I set my backpack down and leaned against a desk.

"Yesterday you said that we would talk about if sexual orientation is a choice. What do you think about that?" I asked him quietly. Part of me wanted his answer to be the same as mine because I liked him as my teacher so much, and I wanted to have someone that relates to me.

"From personal experience, I think that it's not a choice. There will be some that say it is, but I don't think so. I think if it were a choice, people that are committing suicide because of how unhappy they are with their sexuality would definitely change to be different. What do you think?" He asked me after he finished saying what he felt. I was kind of taken back by how passionate he sounded, but I really appreciated his opinion.

"I don't think it's a choice. It's not fun be abnormal, so I don't know why anyone would chose it. If people had a choice and saw what being gay would do to you, then no one would choose it." Feeling my throat close up at the thought of the two years I've spent on the streets because of this. I've never really cried about it because crying won't get me a food in my belly or a safe place for me to stay the night.

"You okay?" Mr.Malik asked me. I nodded and gave him my best fake smile I could. He shook his head, and came to stand right in front of me.

"I think you forgot that body language is a big part of psychology. I know you're not okay, but I won't push you. Just know I'm always here." He told me, then pat my shoulder. I nodded and looked down at my torn up shoes. The bell rang so I got my backpack, and stated to go to the seat in the back of the classroom.

"Uh, I have some cold pizza for lunch and maybe you want to come in here and share it with me?" Mr.Malik offered to me before anyone else got into the classroom. My stomach growled at the thought of pizza that wasn't half eaten or from the bottom of a dumpster. I knew I still had two granola bars that I got yesterday, but I my still hungry stomach seemed to answer for me. I nodded at his question, then started to get out the book I kind of took from the library. I would give it back, I just really wanted to read it and I don't have money to buy a library card so I'll just barrow it and give it back when I'm done.

I read through the pages of the book about a girl that had cancer and a boy falling in love with her. I loved the author of the book and have read many of his other books before, but I head people talking about the film of this book that came out and wanted to read it. The whole cancer part hits close to home with me, but I just remind myself that this is a book and to focus on the love story rather than what's gone on in my life before.