Sugarcubes // Finnick Odair - Hunger Games Fanfic

XVI.

As I stand in my tube staring at my Stylist, there are exactly three things in my brain. And because the two minutes that I have before I rise into the arena my nightmares are about feel like an eternity, I have an ample amount of time to sort through them.

The first thing on my mind is Finnick. It is getting to a point where I'm not sure he'll ever be off my mind. It feels like a part of me is always thinking about him, yearning to see his face. I picked a really horrible time to tell him that I loved him. Plus, our discussion yesterday was left inconclusive. I'm still not sure, should it get to that point, who will win. Finnick and I have always been a complicated issue. The Capitol has always tried to keep us apart but only succeeded in pushing us closer and closer together. The fact that he's such an important part of me concerns me a bit – especially since we're going into a hunger games arena.

The second thing on my mind is Johanna. I'm constantly worried about all my siblings; obviously, I think that comes with being an older sister at this point. But Johanna is a more pressing cause for concern. She's been furious with me since we arrived at the capitol, for volunteering in her place, and for not wanting to come out of the games alive. She's wrong about that. I would love to come back. To be able to watch Danny and Jo get married (Because it's obvious to me that they will eventually), To watch Lia grow up. But if it means killing Finnick, I don't understand what she wants me to do. She's my little sister. I couldn't let her go into the games knowing full well that I could've stopped it. Today morning, Johanna kept her icy cold demeanor until the moment I stepped out the door. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I hear sobs. The urge to turn back and comfort her almost won over. I didn't go back. I just hoped that I wouldn't regret it.

We turned the corner and stepped into the elevator. The door didn't close when I pressed the button though, like it usually does. Johanna stood there, panting slightly, pressing the button from the outside, keeping it open.

"Please don't die" She tells me, leaping on me, allowing Blight to see her moment of vulnerability. A first, for her.

"I'll try." I tell her, sniffing her hair as I stroke her back.

"Good." She says, letting go, and regaining her demeanor. She sticks her tongue out at Blight, who chuckles, and walks out of the elevator.

I look at my stylist. She looks as unbearable as ever. I grimace at her as she sends me a striking smile.

The third thing on my mind is the rebellion. Haymitch said that if their plan works, they'll be able to save everybody – Katniss, Peeta, Finnick, and even me. There is a possibility that there could be multiple survivors of this hunger games. It's better than my plan. All I need to do – make sure that Katniss and whoever is going to be rescued, don't have their trackers in their arms anymore. I'm sure Finnick knows this too. It seems that the 'plan' relies more on Beetee, Finnick and I than anybody else who signed up for this. Which makes sense of course, since Blight can hardly stand straight, and Mags needs to ride on Finicks back to do anything halfway useful. Katniss and Peeta remain blissfully ignorant, the former more stubborn and hard to handle. The morphlings are a joke.

It surprises me how a few berries in the hand of a 17-year-old girl could change the world that we live in so drastically. How Snow's regime can crumple just by two teenagers holding a handful of poisonous berries put in the arena by him. What makes it even more ironic? The regime which was easily built by poison is just as easily torn apart by poison. I laugh under my breath, and my stylist stares at me weirdly. I feel the pod rising slowly, and I wave at her, smiling.

She looks at me with pity, as though I'm the dumbest person in the world – smiling before the games. And maybe I am dumb. For believing in the very cause I was so angry at my father for subscribing to. But that doesn't matter now. He's still alive, isn't he? So, the rebellion gave him an opportunity to ditch the children he hated so much. Maybe it'll give me the opportunity to see him again so I can add him to my kill count.