Onigiri

Realization

"What are you doing awake this late?"

You turn to see a tall boy with curly black hair approaching you. "I couldn't sleep. What about you? Shouldn't you be resting for your match tomorrow?"

"Couldn't stay asleep." Sakusa takes a sear beside you. "Something on your mind?"

"I spent some time with Osamu tonight."

"Your childhood best friend?"

You nod. "Yeah."

Sakusa tilts his head to one side. "Is something wrong?"

You shrug. "Things just feel different between us. Maybe it was all the time we've spent away from each other."

Sakusa looks away from you, thoughts running through his head. "Different how?"

"I feel more excited to see him or text him."

"More than you used to?"

"Yeah. I don't understand. Maybe it's cuz we haven't seen each other in over a year."

He glances at you from the corner of his eye. "Is that the only possible reason?"

You look at him. "What else could it be?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe you don't like him as a friend?"

"What?! He's been my best friend my whole life. How could I not like him?"

Sakusa turned to look you in the eyes. "You can still like him, even if it's not as a friend."

"What are you trying to say, Sakusa?"

He sighs, briefly looking away from you. "Maybe you have a crush on him? He's the person you've been closest to your whole life. He's the most important person to you. Maybe you're developing romantic feelings for him?"

You blink a few times, processing this information. "You think so?"

"It's possible. How exactly do you feel around him?"

"I dunno. For the most part, it's like it's always been. But I'm just more excited and happy to see him and be around him. I feel sad whenever we have to part ways, and miss him when I'm not by his side. I just wanna spend more time with him, I guess."

Sakusa nodded, knowing exactly how you felt. "I'd say you've developed a crush on him."

"Really?"

"Yup. I have no clue when exactly it started, but it seems pretty obvious that your feelings for your friend changed."

"What should I do about it?"

Sakusa shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I've never had those kinds of feelings for anyone. I'm not exactly a people person."

You chuckle softly. "You're right."

"Maybe you should tell him how you feel?"

Your eyes widened, turning to meet Sakusa's eyes. "Wouldn't that ruin my friendship with him?"

"Who knows."

"What if he doesn't feel the same? We might never speak again after that."

"You won't know until you try. Maybe he likes you in a romantic way, too. I'd say just give it a shot."

You sigh. "I'll see."

Sakusa stands up, stretching. "I'm gonna head back to bed. Try to get some sleep, ok?"

You nod. "Yeah, I'll try. Goodnight."

"Night." He walks back to his room, laying down and closing his eyes. He prayed sleep would come to him quickly.

You stare at the night sky. "What do I do? If Osamu doesn't like me back and I say something, what will become of our friendship? And what if he does like me back? Would we get into a relationship? Will it be awkward between us?"

Thoughts ran through your head. It started frustrating you how many questions and scenarios popped into your head. You didn't know what to do about it.

But you knew it wouldn't be a good idea to bottle all your feelings up. If you kept it to yourself, you'd only end up hurt in the end.

But you didn't want to confess either. You were too scared. Nervousness started eating at you the more you thought about all possible reactions Osamu might have.

You wanted to be hopeful, but there were too many doubts dwelling within your heart and mind.

You eventually got up from your spot at some point in the middle of the night. You went back to your room and laid in bed.

After a while of those thoughts eating at you, you ended up drifting off into a restless sleep.