I don't want to eat. I hate my skin. I hate my body. I hate the way I am. My stomach hurts. I don't care anymore. It's addicting, the way the pain feels. I'll just lie here until I rot, I never wanted to do this. I never asked to be born. I never wanted to be born. Why yell at something that never wanted to be created, it's a waste of time. I can't even consider myself human, I'm more a thing than anything. I can't keep my grades up. I can't take care of myself. And I don't want to. I like the pain. I fucking love the pain. I can't think straight anymore, my head hurts. And now you're yelling at me because I'm being a "brat" by not wanting to eat. It's not a choice anymore. It feels like I'm not in control of my body, like something else is living inside me, rotting my brain. I hate school, I hate my parents, I hate him, I hate my nephew, I hate my brother, I hate the locker rooms, the locker rooms especially. I'm sick of the gossip. Yeah, I have body hair, I haven't bothered trying to shave. Yeah, I have scars, I can't cover them because I have nothing to cover them. Yeah, I'm overweight, I can't fucking take care of myself. Yeah, I have bruises on my back, guess who they're from? The same people I fucking despise. At this point it's better to starve than cause anything else that would just get attention. I can't cut anymore because i can't wear bandages without I looking suspicious. I can't hit myself because that would leave marks. I can't scratch my skin or it'll leave more scars.
