Cupid's Lover

Chapter 2

david

THE TERRIBLE THING ABOUT being the only child is that anything I do doesn't go unnoticed.

I don't have an older brother or sister that could take the pressure off me, and I don't have a younger sibling who can (hopefully) take the bait for me. Anything I do that is slight mischievous is always a train wreck right from the beginning.

Mom surprises me in the kitchen; her brown hair is plastered down to her scalp with sweat and I can see the perspiration trailing down from the sides of her very flushed face, but despite that, mum looks very cheerful. She's humming some tune and tapping her broken nails on the counter. When she looks up, her eyes widen when she spots me, and I feel like I just got caught sneaking out or something.

"Good morning sunshine," Mom addresses me as she takes a sip from her tea cup, "why are you up this early in the morning?"

I open my mouth to speak but then she holds her hands up to silence me, "Wait, no. Let me guess. What day is it today?"

"Not February 14th," I respond.

In front of her are unfinished homework left by her students, she gives me a look over her glasses before looking at the grandfather clock right behind me.

"Then what are you doing?  It's three o'clock," she sighs and adjusts the glasses on her nose ready to lecture me.

I memorise the ritual that has been playing over for the last four years:

Mom: Don't tell me. You still looking for that girl?
Me: Mhm.
Mom: Why? Aigo. You should pay attention to school like you do with girl.

I don't say anything, it's the most stereotypical Asian parent thing to say, but that's my mum.

Good grades comes before your social life. Why? Because good grades earns spot in best schools. And do you know what that will get you? Well, the best schools will allow to become a doctor (or maybe an orthodontist, they make good money too). Whatever I do after that is a part of the big unknown.

I don't have time to argue with her and pass by to get myself breakfast, I already been caught anyway.

I hear dad's light footsteps coming down the stairs, he won't anything either. He's been chasing someone just the same as me, only mum doesn't know that.

"Every year David," she shakes her head, and then says in Korean, "you have to let this one go, david-a."

It's like when she's says things in Korean is the final word. I have to listen to her when she speaks Korean, it's the knowing rule.

But I won't, not this time at least.

I have to find her, it's our last year in high school and if I lose her, I might never see her again.

The her that I am referring to is Cupid, or at least that is what our school calls her. Starting with my Freshman year of high school, an anonymous person would put roses and cards for everyone in their locker for Valentines Day, even the teachers received gifts. Everyone would get the same airless words on their cards but me. I always receive something different, instead of the 'You are beautiful' or the 'You are loved' type of crap that everyone else was getting, I received things like 'Don't worry about your grades too much, you're stressing too much,' or 'Your French is improving well, don't worry so much'.

Some people might take it as stalkerish, but call me crazy, I don't. Everyday, when I stress it's almost like no one notices, my girlfriend just clings around my shoulder and does the 'aweee, poor baby' pout thing and nothing else, and I can't talk to my friends, for them, talking about life is just like talking about sex with an adult.

God forbid I talk to my parents about my stress, I'm not suppose to have human feelings around them.

To her, Cupid, I actually matter.

Valentines day is coming up.

And I want to find her, or at least be able to talk with her.

Mum coughs and looks up from her papers, she looks surprise to still see me sitting at the breakfast table, she looks at me with a look I can't determine and then looks back down at her ungraded papers. Either she thinks I'm disobeying her or coming to my senses.

At the table no one speaks, even in this early morning, our family is already awkward. Dad is too busy on his phone texting his annoying 'friend' and mum is too busy pretending like both me and dad aren't hurting her.

She looks at the empty flower vase in front of her and then back at dad before looking down at her papers, I see her deflating more and more everyday.

Mum sighs puts her hair into a ponytail, something that she have never done before in her whole lifetime, and applies lipstick to her lips, "I have a meeting tonight, I don't think I will be here around dinner, you guys can order out or something," she says in Korean.

I take a glance at dad, and he doesn't even look up, he just rakes his black hair and shrugs.

"Okay," He says in perfect English.

I don't think dad notices, something is wrong, mum never asks us to order food out, she would rather us drink water from the kitchen's sink. But dad, of course, doesn't notice and laughs quietly at whatever is on his phone screen.

If looks can kill, dad would've been dead each day in the week.

"Umma," I call her in Korean, she doesn't respond like she use to do, when her face use to lit up like thousands of Christmas lights, but it's enough to bring a bit of light into her eyes.

"I will behave."

She smiles a bit and once again turns to dad, who smirks at his phone and gets up and leaves the table.

I want to leave before anything else can happen.

To mum, I'm that one cheerful character in the books or movies that has no purpose but to make someone's day, but sometimes I don't always feel like that David. 

Sometimes I feel like he is a whole different person. 

Almost like he's floating in space kissing the stars.

~ ᥫ᭡