Watching Over You || Back In Your Arms || Minsung

Funeral and Tears

Third person

Felix bought a suit for this 'occasion'.
Jisung would've yelled at him to not waste his money on something so 'trivial' like a suit but he had to.

Felix had a floor length mirror which he was currently dressing in front of.

Three times.

He broke down three times trying to tie the tye around his neck. His hands trembled for the nth time while fumbling with the piece of fabric.

Getting frustrated by the second, that it wasn't going how he wanted, Felix yanked the tye from around his neck and shrunk to the floor.

He's still finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that his best friend is no longer living. That he's no longer gonna feel the comfort jisung brought him. That he's no longer gonna welcome him with open arms whenever he goes over bearing gifts; said gifts being cookies and brownies.

And oh God. Minho.
Minho was the missing older brother Felix never had, and to think that he was gone too just sent him over the edge.

Thinking about them both reduced Felix to a mess. A crying, trembling mess on the floor. He tried, he really did try to keep himself together up till now; however the reality of everything is setting in and he can't take it.

A knock sounded throughout his house. He quickly got up and rid his face of any stray tears before going to see who it was.

It was the rest of their friend group.

The funeral wouldn't be for another three or so hours, so he wondered out loud:

"Why are you guys here so early.."

Hyunjin stepped forward and grabbed the back of Felix's head, bringing it to his chest.

That was all it took for him to start crying again. The others tried their best to hold their tears in, not wanting to overwhelm Felix any more than they knew he already was.

After a few minutes, Felix was the one who broke away from the hug.

"We should get going guys, I'll be okay." Felix said aloud as he wiped his eyes.

Seungmin took the initiative of speaking what was on everyone's mind.

"Lix, don't try to hide how much this is destroying you. No matter how much you've try to put up a facade these past few days, we saw right through it. And you can come to any of us, anytime."

"Hyung, he's right though." All heads turned to the youngest, jeongin.
"We lost two important persons of this friend group. So please if you're ever suffering, we're here. Don't feel like you're bothering us in the slightest."

God Felix was crying so much.

He nodded his head, not trusting his voice to reason with seungmin and jeongin.

He grabbed his keys and locked the house before walking to the church.

Everyone decided that Minho and jisung should be buried on the same day; next to each other.

They chose to walk because they had time and they didn't feel like engaging in conversation with anyone at the moment.

And so the friend group set off down the road, some holding hands, others trying to crack jokes to lighten the atmosphere. Chan was helping them relive both jisung and Minho's favorite moments with them; when going down memory Lane, even if you're hurting, you can't help but smile.

Jisung's pov (kind of)

"Min I feel terrible.." he looked at the older with a look of desperation. Like he doesn't believe that he's dead, and that he did it to himself.

They were right next to their friends as they walked to their destination. In fact, jisung was by Felix's side since he was in his room.

And now he was feeling extremely guilty for ending his own life, seeing now how his best friend was suffering because of his selfish actions.

"Princess look at me.." Minho forced jisung to stop 'walking' for a bit.

"You were hurting my love. I'm gonna be brutal, it was not the best way for you to go about handling your tumbling mental health, but you weren't okay princess. Sure you could've maybe talked to someone but what's done is done. All we can hope, if for them to be happy without us, but not forget us."

Jisung listened intently to every word spilling from Minho's lips.
But to be honest, no matter how many times he's been told 'it's okay my love', he's never gonna forgive himself.

In the moment he did what he did, he only thought about his suffering and what he was going through. And that to him, that is unforgivable. Because now Felix and his friends has to live without, not only minho, but him as well.

Jisung watched ahead as their friends were talking amongst each other. They smiled when changbin cracked jokes here and there, but the 'bright' smiles never reached their eyes. Felix's especially.

Looking at his best friend again just made him sob into his hands causing Minho to embrace him, and whisper sweet nothings while running a soothing hand down his back.

~

The service was coming to an end with tears overflowing the entire venue.

They moved from the church to the cemetery by now.

Seeing his own lifeless body made jisung wanna throw up and seeing his mother holding onto Felix while the both of them sobbed didn't make it any better.

He was the one who asked Minho if they could attend their own funeral but now he was slowly regretting it.

Changbin, whom he has never seen cried, was now sat off in a corner by himself bawling his eyes out, away from the crowd.

Jisung choked on his tears as he 'walked' over to changbin.
It hurt that he couldn't be seen, for he wanted to offer some sort of comfort to those around him, but he couldn't.

Minho could only watch with sorrowful eyes as he looked at his lover standing by changbin's side with a hand ghosting his shoulder.

Jisung then went to Felix and even though the boy couldn't hear him, he still spoke. He told Felix how sorry he was. Told him that he regrets being selfish. Told him that he loves him and whenever the time comes, they'll meet again.

Jisung went to everyone in their friend group. Minho couldn't handle doing that, so he just watched on with a heavy 'heart'.

And then jisung finally reached his mother.
He couldn't even bring himself to start talking to her. Because he wanted her to hear every word he was gonna say, and knowing that she wouldn't, he broke down and just 'sat' on the floor beside her feet.

Minho 'walked' up to jisung and picked him up, "love I think it's best if we go, yeah?"

Jisung sniffled and hit Minho's chest, "no min..I- I have to talk to mom. Gotta tell her what I didn't get to-"

Minho held jisung close and sighed, "I know that princess but you're not okay right now. You can always come back after alright?"

Jisung let himself be carried out of the cemetery after that. Not having the energy to fight back anymore.

Not that he could because he's...well...dead....lol (;

a/n: I should really stop saying shit like 'discontinued'. So I will, and whenever I feel a burst of motivation, I'll come back. Anyways...

This is the longest chapter, woah...

Also not proofread, I'll go over it soon...