Fins, Scales, Gills, and All

"So has any of you actually seen a mermaid?" Pete suddenly asked out loud, pausing from polishing a canon ball. 
 
It was a rather slow and hot day on the revenge and there was no ship to raid in sight for hours, leaving the crew rather bored. Sure, there were plenty of chores that needed to be done on the ship, pointed out by Izzy but even he was reluctant to start them. The crew also seemed worn out to Stede. Even he felt exhausted that morning feeling like it was even a chore to get out of bed. It had been a minute since they had taken a period of leisure so Stede thought a moment of relaxation for him and the crew was in order.
 
So relaxing the crew did, all of them lounging and relaxing on deck. Stede took his usual spot on the capstan catching up on his new book that Ed had purchased for him when they had docked to stock up on supplies. Speaking of Ed, his lover was lounging on a stool right next to him, lighting his long tobacco pipe while taking a few puffs of it before shaking the match he used to light it, pulling back to blow puffs of smoke out, making perfect circles with it. Jim, Archie, Olu, and Zheng were resting their backs on the right side of the ship railing Archie rested her head on Jim's shoulder as they sharpened their knife. Zheng and Olu were also leaning on each other, Olu holding Zheng's hand into his own, lightly rubbing a circle on the top of her hand with his thumb. Auntie decided to take on the duty of steering the ship, now and then eyeing a seagull to the right of her, sensing that it was none other than Buttons the sea witch, believing that he was there to give their ship protection, watching him closely as he preened himself while perched on a railing. 
 
The Swede and Jackie were below deck somewhere, informing the others that he and her would take their relaxation for a massage session. Wee John was on the left side of the deck, taking time to work on knitting a new covering for Izzy's residual leg. 
Speaking of Izzy, he was sitting on a chair with his back leaning on the mast and stretching his wooden leg out while he was widdling another wooden figure, this time a cat. While he was doing that Frenchie was on the ground next to him, also leaning back on the mast but resting his head gently on the side of Izzy's thigh, plucking at the strings of his Thomann lute, playing a tune that the other would hum to now and then. Roach was lying in a hammock next to both Izzy and Frenchie, snacking on an orange as he watched the clouds overhead. 

Pete was right next to Wee John, formerly polishing a canon ball before he paused and asked his question and Lucius was sitting between Ed and Pete, sketching away in his book until he paused, blinking a couple of times before looking at Pete with a look that said, 'Are you being serious babe?'
 
The whole crew paused what they were doing upon hearing the question, Stede looked up from his book with wide eyes as he looked at Pete, who was eyeing everyone, waiting for them all to answer. The blonde pirate was about to speak but he paused when Ed blew out another puff of smoke, getting his and the crew's attention.
 
"I thought I did once," Ed began, as he set his pipe to the side and leaned forward clasping his gloved hands together while resting his elbows on his legs, careful of his bad knee. "But I was stranded on an island where I got really drunk and it didn't help that the heat of the sun got to me," He then shrugged, his lip quirking up into a small smile as he chuckled. "When I woke up it was just a sea cow."
 
"Truth is, no one's ever seen a mermaid and live to tell the tale because they snatch you up from your ship and drag you to the bottom of the ocean to eat ya," Frenchie chimed in, as he sat up lowering his lute into his lap as he got the others' attention. "They also can't be on land for too long or they'll turn into sea foam."
 
"And how do you know that if ya haven't seen one?" Wee John questioned, pausing a moment from his knitting to look at Frenchie.
 
Frenchie just shrugged his shoulders looking from Wee John to everyone else. "It's just facts."
 
Izzy let out a sigh at that, not looking from his wood carving as he spoke. "There's no such thing as fucking mermaids."
 
"Oh!" Roach suddenly shouted as he shot up from his hammock, causing the crew to jump but he ignored it as he looked at the others holding up a finger. "What if they can take human form and walk on land  without anyone being suspicious of them?!"
 
"Hey remember that time we thought that Jim was a mermaid?" Lucius asked with a cheeky grin looking at Jim who was now glaring daggers at him. 
 
"Wait no shit?" Archie asked with a grin, looking directly at Jim. "You're a mermaid?" 
 
"Here we go." Jim sighed, ignoring how Olu began to chuckle at the memory. 
 
"They all thought Jim was a mermaid?" Zheng asked Olu with a grin, receiving a nod from the latter.
 
"Hey if the walking land theory turned out to be true," Roach began with a shrug, motioning over to Jim. "Whose to say that they aren't actually one?"
 
"Uh me actually because it's not fucking true!" Jim snapped causing Roach to put his hands up in surrender. 
 
"Alright! Alright, settle down!" Stede began closing his book and setting it to the side as he stood up holding up his hands to get the others' attention. "No one on this ship is a mermaid!"
 
The others began to calm down, Jim going back to sharpening their knife as they leaned into Archie who pulled them close, placing a kiss on their cheek. However, Roach was beginning to look at Stede with a suspicious look in his eye.
 
"Wait," Roach began as he eyed Stede up and down, reaching for the cleaver he had to the side. "Didn't Blackbeard call you a mermaid once?"
 
Stede blinked at Roach's question remembering the time when Ed woke up from the gravy basket, remembering how he remarked him not being a mermaid when finally spoke to him when leaving the ship. The sudden silence of the crew caused him to turn to the others, noticing that they all now had a look of suspicion in their features, actually watching as they backed up a bit from him, treating him like they did when he had the cursed suit causing him to huff. "Oh come on!" He exclaimed dropping his hands to his sides. 
 
Izzy let out a sigh as he rolled his eyes, still carving away as he spoke. "The captain is not a mermaid."
 
However, the crew still looked suspicious of Stede eyeing him up and down. 
 
"I mean," Pete began as he motioned to Ed. "If Blackbeard thought he was one-."
 
"I am not a mermaid!"
 
"Technically the right term is Merman-," Frenchie began though he paused when he felt Izzy nudge him slightly, not wanting him to encourage this. "Sorry."
 
"Alright, enough crew!" Ed began as he got up, standing next to Stede and placing a loving hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as he looked at the crew. "Stede is not a mermaid! It was just a silly dream I had."
 
"Thank you, Ed," Stede smiled looking from Ed to the others. "See? Take this as proof that your captain is not a mermaid."
 
*Ahem* "Merman." Frenchie coughed into his hand, eyeing Izzy as he did so, smiling when the other just let out a sigh, shaking his head.
 
"Well, that's not good proof!" Pete scoffed with his hands on his hips before using one hand to motion to Ed as he spoke. "Blackbeard is in love with you. Of course, he's gonna take your side!"
 
"Well, I'm sure that if I were a-," Stede then looked directly at Frenchie. "Mer-man," He corrected, receiving a thumbs up from him before turning back to Pete. "Ed wouldn't love me very much-."
 
"Yes, I would!" Ed suddenly said, grabbing both of Stede's shoulders and pulling him in front of him looking at him with wide yet loving eyes as he spoke. "Hundred percent would love you. Fins, scales, gills, and all."
 
Stede fell silent as his eyes widened at Ed's comment, looking for any sign that Ed was joking but he couldn't find any. It should have sounded a little silly from the way Ed said it, however, he couldn't help but feel a little breathless at the thought of Ed still loving him if he had gills and covered in scales, causing his face to heat a bit at the thought. 
 
The crew fell silent as they looked between their captains, Olu was smiling like he was trying not to chuckle while Zheng just rolled her eyes at the display.
 
Pete looked between Ed and Stede watching as they looked longingly into each other's eyes before he leaned in looking at Ed as he spoke. "So he's a mermaid?"
 
"Alright!" Izzy snapped as he stood up, causing the others to jump, breaking Stede and Ed out of their trance. "Breaks over back to work!" He watched as the others began to scramble on deck, going back to their duties. However, before Frenchie could get up he held out the wooden cat to him as he looked away silently gifting it to him. Izzy did turn his head slightly to watch as he eyed the gift with wide eyes before a small smile formed on his face taking the cat from him with a nod. His lip quirked up a bit at that before it returned to a scowl turning as he walked away, leaving Frenchie to get up to do his duties, holding the carving close to him as he did so. 
 
Stede watched as the others went back to work before turning to Ed who grabbed his pipe. He slowly picked up his book, holding it close to his chest and once Ed walked next to him he placed a hand on his arm to get him to pause, watching as the other looked at him in question. He was hesitant for a moment before he looked into Ed's eyes as he spoke.
 
"You'd really still love me if I was a mermaid?" He questioned.
 
"Of course," Ed answered without any hesitation, grinning as he looked at him. "Why wouldn't I?"
 
"I know that... mermaids- or well mermen as well- aren't very depicted kindly in folklore. Known as man-eating-."
 
"You're thinking of sirens love," Ed interrupted with a grin. "There's a difference," He then reached up and placed a hand on the side of Stede's face watching as his eyes grew wide at the motion but he just smiled lovingly at him. "Mermaids are usually depicted as majestic gentle and beautiful creatures. You're beautiful now but I know you'd be beautiful as a mermaid. Seen it myself in the gravy basket." He then leaned in placing a kiss on the side of Stede's lip. "You were also really sexy with your trident."
 
"O-Oh." Stede breathed, his face turning red as he cast his eyes to the ground, smiling when he heard Ed begin to chuckle. He was silent for a second before he reached up to hold Ed's rist, looking back into Ed's eyes. "Thank you, love."
 
"Of course, babe," Ed said with a wink and a grin before motioning for below deck. "Come on, I'm fucking starving. Let's have lunch together."
 
Stede gave him a nod in agreement, feeling a bit peckish himself. So he took Ed's hand into his own while tucking his book to the side, following Ed below deck unable to keep a smile off his face at what his lover had said minutes ago, knowing that he was going to be thinking about it all day. If he ever grew gills and a fin one day, he wouldn't worry about Ed falling out of love with him for it.