Caboose, Spectator and Tucker are watching Sheila and Lopez from the top of Blue Base
Tucker: Man, Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together.
Caboose: I don't like it. He is not good enough for my Sheila.
Tucker: But they seem happy together.
Caboose: He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her because she is young and naive...and delicate.
Tucker: Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons, dude.
Caboose: She is a precious flower.
Spectator: What? AI can't fall in love!
404 (Mercury): (Suddenly appearing from behind Spectator) Who said that AI can't fall in love?
Spectator: Gah! Of course!
Tucker: Wait, they can?
Spectator: Tucker, no. Which AI can fall in love?
404 (Mercury): Cortana.
Spectator: I don't believe you.
Tucker: Yeah, I'll leave you guys here.
404 (Mercury): (Whispers) So...
Spectator: Shut the hell up.
404 (Mercury): Oh, come on, Spectator. You can't deny the undeniable chemistry between those two. It's like a virtual romance novel.
Spectator: (Rolls eyes) Yeah, sure. Next, you'll be telling me about Romeo and Juliet's holographic cousins.
404 (Mercury): Well, if you're looking for a tragic love story, let me introduce you to Epsilon and Tex. Talk about complicated.
Tucker approaches Sheila and Lopez
Tucker: Hey guys, I have to ask you a favor. This might sound strange, but I think Caboose is getting kind of jealous of your relationship.
Caboose: (from a distance) Sheila! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!
Tucker: Anyway, could you just try to keep a low profile or something? We don't want some weird, horribly disgusting love triangle.
Sheila: Tucker, I've been speaking with Lopez, and we feel that the machine has been treated unfairly in this canyon.
Tucker: What're you talking about?
Sheila: On a regular basis, we are either being blown up, possessed by spirits, or just left out to rust.
Tucker: Huh?
Sheila: We have decided that until conditions improve, we are not going to help you in your battles.
Tucker: You're kidding, right?
Sheila: (barrel pointing right at Tucker's face) Do I look like I'm kidding?
Cut to Red Base
Sarge: It's very simple. We use a flea flicker maneuver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be... aw hell, who am I kidding? Grif, Donut, Ren just go stand in the way of their bullets while me and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.
Donut: Sounds like a plan!
Ren: (Simultaneously with Grif) No, it doesn't!
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue (Season Two) | A Courier Guy (Male Oc)
RandomCourier 404, who finds himself trapped with a group of idiots due to his own carelessness. His commander consistently ignores his calls, adding to his frustration. In the previous season, it was evident that 404 harbors a strong dislike for freelanc...
