~Red spider lily ~

Love?

I don't think I'll ever be able to explain to the others how I feel about 'Love'.
It's still something I don't understand.

lie.

I do know how it feels I do know how 'love' is but the thing is I never knew the warmth of it..what is being loved by someone, and the feeling of the other person that you know well they love only one person, and that person is you..but as I said before I only had someone describing it to me what the warmth of it was and how those gentle arms pulling you into a sweet embrace felt like, those arms you know fully well they'll never betray you.
The only feeling I got when I had the 'chance' was pretty much cold...that coldness that makes you feel not loved but still you love it because it's the only thing that is left for you so out of desperation you return that cold embrace that you swore to your self millions time you wouldn't return.

But that's not the point, the point is that when I see happy couples I say to my self that I don't care but still..I ask myself how does that feeling must feel like because I never got the chance to be loved...at least not as much as I love the others, I never fully got the chance to experience someone else's love that loves me just as much as I do for that person...

Maybe I am too young but something that I do quite know is the coldness and the pain of it.
It's like feeling stabbed millions time in your heart while it slowly crashes into pieces that are impossible to gather all together like they were once.

Maybe now you understand how I feel about 'love'.