H.S | When The Flash Fades | First book

Chapter 31. You're fine just fine

And then she knew that you could become homesick for people too.
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Abi shakes you awake "I'm taking Arlo and Hagrid out. Get a shower and get some practice done before tonight. You look terrible."

She walks out with Arlo in one hand and Hagrid in the other. The sadness of waking up and returning to reality washes over you. The warmth of the dream world dissipates as you open your eyes to the muted colors and familiar surroundings of your everyday life. A tear fall slowly down your cheek, it's presence barely registering, much like the sensation of water gliding down your face when you shower. You get up and walk into the bathroom, passing by the mirror you stop, walk back and look at yourself.

"Holy fuck, I look like shit!"

You notice mascara smeared around your eyes, lipstick smudged to one side of your mouth, and your hair partitioned into four equal-sized knots. Tears continue to flow down your cheeks without any feeling.

You laugh-cry "You're fucking pathetic."

You step into the shower and turn on some music—sad music, of course. Adele's "Love in the Dark" begins to play.

You start singing along "Please, stay where you are. Don't come any closer. Don't try to change my mind. I'm being cruel to be kind."

Tears mix with the water from the showerhead, stream down your face.

"I can't love you in the dark. It feels like we're oceans apart. There is so much space between us. Baby, we're already defeated. Everything changed me."

The sting of shampoo in your eyes is overshadowed by the immense pain in your stomach and heart.

"You have given me something that I can't live without. You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine. The longer we ignore it all, the more we will fight."

Your heart pounds relentlessly, your eyes burn not from the shampoo but from the tears shed last night and again this morning. Your lungs feel like they're on fire, the water filling them up as you continue to sing.

"We're not the only ones, I don't regret a thing- Every word I've said, you know I'll always mean. It is the world to me that you are in my life. But I want to live and not just survive."

You step out of the shower feeling just as dirty as before. You go into your room and pick out an outfit to wear.

You start putting on makeup and set up your hair in a clip.