BLEEDING HEART | ONC 2024

022 - HIM

Something about what I said prompts her to drop her dagger and bring her hands to her face.

At first I expect her to run over and lodge her nails in me instead; maybe she's decided a more hands-on injury will be more suitable. Or this is her way of charging up more power to hurl at me, to finish me off permanently.

I dared say those words, unprompted, and she'll despise me for it. She won't believe me.

But then she lowers her hands, and I see she's crying.

Crying.

Fuck, I've made her cry, on top of everything else I've done to her. I came back to ask for forgiveness, and I've only made things worse. I made myself vulnerable by opening up, and it's only pushed her farther away.

"Dru, I..." I take a tentative step forward, unsure how she'll react to me getting closer. "Maybe that was too much, too soon, but I..."

"Did you mean it?" She sets a trembling palm to her heart. "You...love me?" Her voice is shaky, and all her earlier rage has melted from her being. She's still skinny and frail-looking, but for a second she almost looks like her former self; drenched in light and love, and eager to give.

Do I mean it? I said the words impulsively, but they must be true. My heart is thudding as I look at her, as I remember the feel of her. My body yearns for hers, no matter her fragile state. I know what's underneath her clothes, her skin; I connected with her in ways I never connected with anyone.

Yes, I'm but a few weeks old, but the bond I share with her is something I didn't think existed.

From the get-go, there's been something about her that drew me in. Not because she was my target, but because there was more to her. More to her sensuality, to the delicious curves, to the taunting words she used to tantalize me.

And after that night we spent together...I haven't been the same. Something in me changed after being with her, and it crept up on me as I went about my tasks.

And why else would it have hurt me so much to hurt her? Why would it have made me feel so guilty as I poisoned her heart day by day, night by night, visiting her dreams to torment her?

"Yes," I say in a breathy whisper, then clear my throat. "Yes, I mean it, Druvena. I, Azath, demon of heartbreak, love you."

She gulps, then shakes herself out of whatever stupor she'd been in. Now she's going to stride up and end me, right? She let me confess my feelings, and will take my life as redemption.

Instead, she approaches me with caution. She's slightly recoiled, but there's intrigue in her gaze, openness in her heart, I can feel it.

"I get it now," she says, setting a hand on my upper arm. I prepare for her to shoot her energy into me, to destroy me from the inside. "Your point. Us working together."

I was about to close my eyes and embrace the pain, but they widen as I take her in. "Huh? You're not...you would...what?"

Her hand caresses me; her nails don't dig in, and no furious power radiates from her touch. Only the natural power of...affection. Kindness.

Love.

"We're both corrupted, impure. And we are, like you said, both responsible for this. You..." She winces, looks away. "You were controlled. And me?" She tips her head back to peer at the dark sky. "I was blinded. I forgot my mission because I wanted time to myself."

"Is that not allowed?" I want to touch her so badly, but worry she's not ready yet.

"Angels aren't selfish." She slides her hand up, cupping my cheeks. "We can indulge from time to time, but what I did with you...it's blasphemous. I'm surprised the goddesses didn't kill me for that fact alone. An angel and a demon? Never heard of."