"Holy Shit, She's In Love With Me"

In The Locker Room...?

"We can't keep doing this, AJ." Brie's voice was gentle but firm, breaking the awkward tension that ate into both of us (mostly me) in the empty locker room. Thanks to DANIEL, who forgot today was a Monday (as per usual for that troll-faced excuse for a GM), there was only one female match this week. (And of course it had to be his amazing, beautiful wife against his amazing, beautiful ex-girlfriend.)

I glanced up from the shoelace I was tying, confused at the very disturbed expression on her face. "What do you mean, Brie?" I asked softly, trying to mask the really embarrassing cracks in my voice.

Of course I could tell that she definitely noticed it, because she had a tiny smile. But as fast as it came, it switched back to the dreaded "serious face".

Brie took a step forward to lean a shoulder on the locker she was previously "digging" through. (We all know it was to ignore the tension.) Her eyes were purposefully avoiding mine and she seemed really awkward. "You know what I mean, AJ," she said softly, "We can't keep pretending like there's nothing wrong with doing this."

As much as I wanted to beg her not to leave me right now, the words could only get out as a tiny swallow, bringing back emotions I had tried so hard to ignore. So much so that a few weeks prior, I took a small piece of paper, wrote "emotions" on it, and buried it in a box in my backyard. Still, for months I had been ignoring urges I couldn't explain. Like an uncomfortable anger and pain that seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. And now, with Brie standing so close, her warm presence and soft perfume seeping into my soul, I knew I couldn't ignore that much longer.

"I... what?" I finally choked out, my voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what you mean."

Brie squeezed her hands gently, before crossing them over her stomach in a seemingly... protective manner. "Maybe we don't have to change everything about us" she finally said, her voice soft but resolute. "Maybe we just have to be more careful about it."

As her words sank in, I turned to face her, meeting her uninterpretable and also slightly pitiful gaze. "No... actually, you're right Brie," I said, a big, happy (and entirely fake) smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I quickly stood up. "We can't keep doing this. You should be with Daniel..." I knew she knew it was fake but she seemed convinced enough in the moment.

Then I happily skipped out, not allowing Brie to get more than a small sigh in. And as the door of the locker room closed I could feel that heavy burden on my mind again.