Better Days

Nobody But You

Hi, do me a favor and listen to Nobody But You by Sonder and Jorja Smith while reading.

XOXO,
Tine
______________________________
Year 2025

Hey, It's me, Jimmy. August is fast approaching and next thing you know I will be 31. Night like this unintentionally transports me to my zenith days as an actor. Sigh, those were the days. As an introvert, being an actor exponentially pushed me to put myself out there despite the constant struggle of not really understanding who I 'was' and trying to birth another unknown version of Jimmy. Actor Jimmy was spontaneous, a little flirty (or too flirty?), a people pleaser, and would do anything for the job. Don't get me wrong though, aside from the fact that Actor Jimmy paid me well I bagged long term friendships and viable connections for the unseen future through this particular season of my life.

The clock reads 12:03 making me realize I need to hit the sack soon. Tomorrow is fully booked with follow up checkups, consultations, clinic visits and a major medical procedure on top. While tidying my medical books and subsequently preparing myself for bed, my phone buzzes but it took a great practice of discipline not to pick it up. After setting the alarm and making sure my work phone is charging, I drift into the abyss.

Rewinding to 2024

The undeniable success of Last Twilight has opened notable opportunities for both Jimmy and Sea not only in the entertainment world but international recognition as well. Fan meets across Southeast Asia occupied the first half of their 2024 with brand endorsements, event appearances and shooting various contents for GMMTV on the side.

They were in a plane flying back to Bangkok from a short work trip for Paris fashion week when Jimmy noticed Sea deep in thoughts.
"Hey, everything okay?" Jimmy nudging Sea back to reality. It took Sea a few seconds to collect himself and gave Jimmy a reassuring nod. Jimmy assumed Sea has seen the news judging from his current state. Before the Last Twilight aired, Sea was involved in a controversy linking him romantically to another public figure named Charlotte. Sea had to obviously deny all the allegations or hell would break loose. A bit extreme there but him in a relationship other than Jimmy could kill his budding career. Sea set his priorities straight by deciding not to pursue Charlotte for the time being after a winding table call with their management. He was still in communication with her but not so much in going out together. Sea was taken aback earlier that day upon hearing the news about Charlotte being seen and photographed in multiple dates with an unnamed celebrity. Pictures of them were splashed across the news and social media platforms.
"I'm sure they're just friends." Jimmy uttered to a speechless and fading Sea.
"But we were okay, Hia (older brother in Thai)." Sea confusedly replied.
"Go straight to her place once we land. Get her to speak but make sure no one sees you." Jimmy gently said without looking at him. He respectfully let Sea be while nesting in his own bubble.

6th hour into the flight woke Jimmy from a catnap. 'I wish I had the time to run to you not ruin your life. I'd never wrong you twice. I want to make things right. And maybe you' ll take me. Hope you don't hate me....' Jorja Smith and Sonder were on his ears as he briefly glanced at a sleeping Sea.

Jimmy had a fair share of failed relationships - two toxic relationships to be exact. The last one lasted for 4 years and has compromised friendships with their common friends. The first one wasn't impactful as the second. They were two (t00) young teens who agreed to experience being a couple. First meant first in everything. It was fun but it needed a ton of maturing. The last relationship developed from his stressful student life in the faculty of medicine. She was a friend since his freshman year cutting the long story short they became strangers thereafter. With everything simultaneously happening in his life, Jimmy did not properly address the permanent damage his last relationship imprinted into his being. The grieving part came in years later with him seeing her ex engaged.

Sea witnessed how Jimmy transformed from a peaceful and collected man to a wasted and problematic guy in a span of weeks. They were amid of filming Vice Versa when the director halted the production and requested for a one week break. It sounded alarming for Jimmy and Sea knowing GMMTV might have recalibrated plans and decided to cancel the series.

Jimmy spent his uneventful days drunk in his room. The universe has already showered him with the most comfortable life anyone would have wanted to live. The best set of parents, an excellent sibling, a very accomplished career under his belt, ultimately, a good life - but the emptiness was overwhelming his sanity. Why?

Year 2025

I almost freeze upon reading the messages I purposely ignored last night. They were from P'Newwie and P'Tay.
"Bro you wouldn't believe who we just bumped into!" P'Tay exclaimed in our Line group chat.
"Tay was too stunned to say hi." P'Newwie added.
"Heyyyy... Charlotte was stunning in person." P'Tay bantered.
"Sea was asking you.. Sea wants to know how have you been." P'Newwie switching the serious mode on.
"Hin invited him out for dinner next week. What is wrong with him? Right?" P'Tay seemed agitated.
"That was out of courtesy. Of course somewhere somehow we became good friends too." P'Newwie was trying to defend himself.
"Anyway, Doc Jim, we are free tonight if you want to get full access to the story." P'Newwie's last message to close the conversation.

I believe everyone in our circle of friends knew what happened between me and Sea. It was never my intention to fall in love but I owed myself accountability from my own thoughts and feelings. Sea was everything to me. "I'd take it all back just to have you in my arms. And I know for a fact who we were ain't who we are." He was the missing piece in my life. Too cheesy? Love is supposed to be cheesy. Love is supposed to be.... Love hurts. "I wonder, is the only peace we'll find gonna be when you tell me goodbye?" I messed us up.