how much i really liked you. - guitarspear fic

and you never knew. | chapter one. | currently in heaven.

it had been weeks since the extermination. months maybe? who's counting anymore. lute hadn't slept. the memory of that day haunted her. every memory haunted her. she remembered his presence. the way he'd laugh at anything. the fact that despite everything, he still would've done anything to make her happy. she remembered when she would cry to him. and the night he drunkenly confessed he hated seeing her upset. it shouldn't be something she missed. he shouldn't be something she missed. it was weak of her. she's the fiercest exorcist in all of heaven. she doesn't cry. but that was her best friend. her only friend. the only one who would've always stuck with her. the one who cared the absolute most, even if he didn't show it. he had his own way of showing it. she knew how he was.

emily had came by a couple times to try and help her out, despite not liking her much after finding out about the extermination. emily was a nice girl. she cared. sera flatout asked a few times why she cared as much as she did. some of the girls thought there was a thing going on. the rumors never really seemed to bother him. they bothered lute. the girls didn't have to know her personal life. even if nothing ever happened. part of her wished something happened. anything. it'd be unprofessional, sure. whatever. adam was already the least professional man. he was a dick. she didn't have a reason to like him as much as she did.

she was completely deep in thought. that was until emily came in. making sure she was like.. alive. "lute? are you in here..?" she was flopped out on the bed, lights off. it wasn't her room. it was adam's. she felt comfort in there. it was the final thing she had left of him. "yeah. am i needed?" emily let out a small sigh. "no. just wanted to make sure you're okay." lute looked up at her, mascara streaming down her face. she looked horrible. you could tell she hadn't slept. she was pale and her hair was a horrible mess. did she LOOK okay?? there was an awkward silence. emily waited for something to be said. she just closed the door. she should be keeping the people of hell happy. it wasn't working. people were talking about lute, no doubt. "no one's seen her in weeks!" she didn't want to be seen. not without him. she had a revelation that night. the night she lost him. she realized she was in love with him. she always had been. she always will be. she's alone now. completely alone.

AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!!!!!!!
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