Lavender & Fire

49. A Word

"Rahn, May I have a word?" Kahal asked Rahn once the king and queen exited the room, stopping her from leaving.

"Of course, my lord." She turned to face him.

"Don't start with the formalities now, Rahn. I'd say we're past that, wouldn't you agree?" He said as he took a step towards her to where they were only an arms length apart.

Rahn hesitated but after a moment she spoke softly. "I understand my position, my lord. I do not expect any special treatment."

"Are you saying you wish to forget all of our time together and go back to the way things were before any of this started?" He matched her gentle tone as he looked into her eyes.

Rahn opened her mouth to speak but promptly closed it, her eyes scrunching in confusion just slightly.

Kahal clenched his fist at his side, holding himself back from touching her

"I don't understand." Rahn finally said in a whisper. "What are you asking me?"

Kahal took a small step closer. "I can't go back to the way things were. With me being a Lord alone in his study and you being a guard I don't know."

"But that is what we are."

"But I do know you now, Rahn."

"Do you?" She took a slight step back, shaking her head.

"Yes, I think I know you better than anyone. Am I right?"

She shook her head in confusion again. " I don't... I didn't think most of that was real. Was it?" She looked up at him.

"It was real for me. All of it. Even a lot that was written in those letters was real for me."

"It was?"

Kahal took another step closer to where they were almost touching. "Rahn, I must apologize for how I acted in your cabin. I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

Rahn took another step back, looking down. "I know. I understand. You were caught up in the moment, you didn't mean-"

"No." Kahal said firmly and closed the distance between them, cupping her face in his hands. "I wanted to kiss you then and so many other times, just as I want to kiss you now." Rahn gasped and it took all of Kahal's self-restraint to keep from lowering his lips to hers. "It wasn't right of me to kiss you without making sure you knew who it was that was kissing you and making sure you wanted..." he lowered his hands to her shoulders and released a calming breath. "that you wanted me."

Rahn's eyes were wide as she stared up at him, seemingly in shock.

"Dom is still me, Rahn. He is who I am. But I am also Kahal, future king. So it's irresponsible of me to show such interest in a female without asking if I'm someone she would want. All of me."

"Meaning you and all that comes with you." Rahn stated softly.

Kahal sighed as he nodded his head. "But I'm not hiding anything now, Rahn. You've seen both sides of me, you know who I am. I think you also know and understand me better than anyone else. So now I'm asking... hoping... " he cupped her face again. "Rahn, I want you to be my partner."

Rahn gasped again in surprise but quickly shook her head and pulled away from him to stand several steps away. "You couldn't possibly want me as your partner!" She stared at him in shock.

"Why not?" He took a large step towards her as she stepped away from him in response.

She let out a humorless laugh. "You need someone much better than me. I'm no one special."