Aroace thoughts/rants

"Just" friends

We're talking about this again. Because honestly it makes me a whole other kind of emotions when I see "more than just friends" to describe romance. Especially if it's like a deep platonic friendship and people go on saying "oh they're definitely more than just friends"  like people can be close and not be romantically interested in each other.

The feeling I get when I see "more than" or "just" friends isn't just anger or hatred for the phrasing. It's like disappointment and like it kinda hurts because it just reminds me most people in this world think like that. To most people I'll always be "just" a friend.

It's like...we put the word best in front for friend sometimes to empathize how much they mean to us. But putting the word just in from of friend is like saying it really doesn't mean that much at all.

Just friends.
Just another boring plain old, nothing special, person.

It makes it feel like friendships are nothing and can never be something because if a friendship gets to deep it's "oh they're definitely more than friends they're definitely in love"

It goes back to that song from descendants, space between. A beautiful song about Evie and Mal still being there for each other no matter how far apart they go. Even if their lives go in different directions their there for each other. Yes that's love- but why does it automatically mean it's romantic.

It's like...if you're gonna say "just friends" it's almost like...why bother even calling me your friend 

I hate how the world centralizes romance and makes it seem like it's part of everyone's life and it's the most important thing in everyone's life. If it truly is the most important thing in someone's life then that's beautiful and I want people to love and put their whole hearts into what they love and are passionate about but it just sucks when people put friendship below romance every time on default.

And this goes deeper than just being aroace because I don't like most popular and trending things because I know a bunch of people only get into it because it's trending and as soon as it's not trending people are done with it and their on to the next following the crowd but it's like if you don't like what's trending or popular your a hater and it just makes me not like the thing even more.

So the more romance is pushed by society the more I wanna push back. I think that's why I wanna be an author. Because I can create my own world where these "rules" don't exist. Of course the people reading my books will still have these rules as their mindset so who knows if they'll stop applying it to my books or not.

Anyways. It's really frustrating is all to see "just friends" or saying a deep friendship is more than friends. Because apparently if people are super close it can only mean their romantically into each other.

And even if there's a strong platonic bond between characters that people love and don't call romantic, it'll still never compare to romance especially when people say things like "just friends"

Romance isn't more than friendship it's just different and I can't stand how romance is always perceived as more. Even I perceive it as more even though I know it's not but I know everyone else does so when I see people talking about a romantic ship I can't help but think that they are dating what the ship has is more than friendship and it makes me feel bad for the friends.

I feel like I'm staring to just word vomit now and I'm not being as clear as what's actually going on in my head. But basically when people talk about how couples from books/movies/shows are "each other's favorite perosn" or something it's like how can someone who has loving friends and family just have one favorite person.

Maybe I'm just not understanding it. But you know how they say like "unconditional love". I don't really think that's a thing. In the sense that, all love should be unconditional and if it is conditional it's not love. Unconditional love is just love.

And if you love more than one person, how can you love one more than the other because that's putting conditions/limits on the other person.

There is different forms of love sure. I may love someone one way and another person the other. I love both my sisters but I only tease and fake bully one.

So just because you kiss one person you love, doesn't mean you love the person you don't kiss less. You just love them differently.

Because love shouldn't be numbered or conditional. If I love you, you're my favorite person.

If there's conditions, you don't love them. You might really really like them and care about them, but you don't love them.

So how can people go around dating "he loves his friends sure but he loves her more" no. He loves her differently. But I think romance is too pushed people aren't gonna realize this and just call romance more and when people write books and make shows they're gonna use that word more.

And honestly if the only way someone can describe romance as more than friendship than that's just not good writing in my opinion. If you have to rely on the phrase "more than friends" to show its romantic than maybe that just proves we are just told things and go with them. We are just told romance is more and so everyone went with it not actually taking the time to think what romance and friendship are.

I get attraction can be hard to describe, but if you have to put down other forms of attraction/love to describe yours how do you even know that's what you're feeling.

I don't know. My thoughts keeping getting mixed up. Well that's all I have to say about that. Quick book update on No Regrets, my platonic love story, I started draft 2 yesterday! I'm thinking either after this draft or draft 3 I'll get beta readers so if any of you are interested in that lemme know and I'll have details about that later

Okay that's all I have for today, I hope you all have a marvelous day. Best wishes, take care 💚💜