love at first sight. ( boy love/bl )

the first day ( 1 )

i fluttered my eyes open as the sun beamed on my face, it was the very first day of school.

but this was different, this was middle school. my first day in 6th grade.

my mother opened my door slightly asking if i was awake, i tiredly said yes.

she opened my door fully and looked at me, smiling.

" you're nervous, aren't you ? " she asked in a polite tone.

i nodded my head, this was the most nervous i have ever been to go to a school.  my older friend, Alex, told me that middle school was his worst year.

knowing that, it made me even more nervous.

my mom went out of my room and came back with an outfit she picked for me.

i slightly groaned, she always wanted me to be a girly girl like her but i never was.  the reason that is, is because i've been trans since 4th grade.

i never liked things like skirts or dresses, not because i didnt look good in them, because it made me uncomfortable.

she picked out a plain black skirt with a black shirt with moon phases on it, with a pair of platforms.

she set it down on my office chair and told me to get ready, she shut my door gently afterwards.

this was my first year going to school, since i was doing online in 4th and 5th grade.

i threw my blanket over my head and sighed, i grabbed my phone that was right next to me and hopped on discord, messaging my friend.
———
wizard of oz !! : hey caleb you excited for school ?

severedspirits : absolutely not lol but lets hope we have a class together

wizard of oz !! : yeah, im just hoping that things
will go well lol😭

severedspirits : me too, i gotta get dressed and you probably should to, ill ttyl alright ?

wizard of oz !! : alright bye see ya
———
i sighed and threw my phone to the side, gently rubbing my eyes and rolling out of bed.

i stood up and stretched, popping my bones one by one.

i looked at the outfit my mother had given me and sighed, taking my pajamas off and sliding the skirt up my legs.

the skirt was a high rise skirt, i looked in my mirror in disgust, knowing i didnt wanna wear this.

i took off my plain white t-shirt, sliding the black shirt with moon phases over my head and over my arms.

i tucked the shirt into my skirt and looked at myself in the mirror, i felt disgusting and looked disgusting.

i looked at my long brown hair with blue tips, wishing i could cut it. my mother said it ran in the family to have long hair on the girls side, whenever she called me a female it made me wish i was a male every single time.

i grabbed a bunny hat and a mask with a zipped mouth on it, putting the hat on and the mask on. maybe if i hide my face ill look a little bit better.

i walked out of my room and went over to my mom.

" oh honey ! you look beautiful " she said with a bright smile along her face.

i nodded and got a text message, i take my phone out of my skirt pocket and look at it.

shit, it was my "boyfriend"

i have been dating this guy for about a year and last year he decided to slit my wrist in front of my friends.. yeah quite a story.