De Luca

15.Continents and Curfews

15

And with the blink of an eye, I stood in the airport with Markus. Out of the ragged clothes into new ones, he bought for me. I felt more comfortable and then when I looked down at my hand, seeing the engagement ring still adorning my fingers something strangled my chest. tears started prickling my vision. But I held it in. Failing to contain the feelings within myself.

He's gone.

My restrainment with him.

Promise me that you'll protect me with your life. I remember asking and him answering me with a nod before slipping the ring on.

And did he?

Did he lose his life because of me?

Was I the reason for his death?

If I wasn't there he wouldn't have had to take me to the company. And then this incident wouldn't have happened.

But he was the one who kidnapped me. Made me his fiance. He put the start to it all.

The sun was already setting as Markus dragged me with him by hand to the checking area. My mind was long lost from reality and my body was at his command.

I slowly removed the diamond ring. Fisting it in my palms. Every time I glance at it a glimpse of his body fills my eyes. His fake smiles and silent touches.

Has it meant anything to him once at least?

He's dead. His death is confirmed. And it's all because of you. It's you, Ella. You killed him.

I closed my eyes tightly. The feeling of nausea. A feeling that I was the cause of his death was instilled in me by the same voice. And I couldn't bring myself to deny it. I let the voice loose in my mind. Giving it the freedom to say what it wants.

My ears rang. My head ran wild while the voice said some incoherent sentences in my mother's mother tongue.

Hindi.

I didn't know the language. Nor did I understand what it was trying to say. I had a distant feeling that the voice belonged to my mother. Gentle at times. Whispering addictive verses. At the same time, I felt it was my father's. Rough and painful. A sting blossomed in my chest at the thought of my parents.

I need my meds.

I need the numbness.

But I don't have it with me.

Should I say anything to Markus?

Why bother him with your damn illness? You can't even handle your problems?

A strike to my self-esteem, huh? I can take the blow.

I was already sitting near the window with him beside me.

"Why are you helping me?" I find myself asking him. My gaze never left the sight outside the glass pane. "Helping you?" I could see him looking down at his feet from the periphery. "Well...it's my job, you see. To help people. I couldn't just leave you alone by yourself." He said. His voice was so gentle that it could have been blown out by the wind.

I nodded understandingly.

I have to somehow control my features. No one should know. I have to deflect my thoughts.

Heavy footsteps.

Creaking raw shrieks of rats.

Gunshots.

Birds flying.

My consciousness was a consideration as I drifted off to a gothic fantasy.