Triumph of Love | Romance Anthology

24 | 'The Imperfect Plan' by @AsiaAlexandria

Midnight Wishes Contest Winner - AsiaAlexandria

This is it.

The once-a-year chance to kiss a friend with no repercussions. I can finally find out if what I class as flirting has real feelings behind it. Finally find out where I stand without ruining our friendship.

If Mako concludes the countdown with a simple peck, we can go back to being friends without any of the awkwardness.

And if it all goes tits up, if I come across too desperate or dive in with too much tongue, I can blame the alcohol. Better everyone think it's just a drunken New Year's kiss than the truth.

It's the perfect plan.

Hidden among the crowd of our New Year's Eve party, I shake my arms vigorously to give myself a boost. Adrenaline and nerves hack at my chest, but it's worth it. I can't go another year questioning each touch, each look, each breath and wondering, not what if, but just what. I need to know the truth.

The clock tells me I have fifteen minutes to get to the right level of drunk. There's a fine line between not being embarrassed and doing something I'll regret and I've been trying to balance it all night. I clean off my current lager and slam it against the table with a little too much force.

Taking a deep breath in preparation for my next moves, I run my fingers through my hair. The usually wavy or unkempt mess is straightened for the occasion tonight. A sparkly dress clings to me, complementing the golden tones of my Indian descended skin.

I look good.

I know I do.

I made an effort. Enough of one so that Mako might notice me. Notice the curves I've hidden under sweats and hoodies for so long. That he might finally see me the way I want him to.

The overpowering music vibrates in my chest along with my heart like a war drum encouraging me into battle. I push through the tight crowd, praying the humidity hasn't left me with a halo of black frizz.

As I approach the kitchen, the crowd shifts, and the pounding stops. Between the bodies, I catch a glimpse of Mako. The anticipation of my next moves vanishes with a poof. He's leaning against the wall with his hand on Cerys' hip. I know who she is. She shares lectures with him. He talks about her all the time. She's petite and skinny and has this smile that leaves a twinkle in Mako's eyes. I feel like an ogre in a dress beside her.

I was stupid. The play fights; the pranks; the video games; the beer. All I've wanted is to be one of the lads. To be seen beyond my gender. To be seen for who I am.

And now. Now I'm in love with one of them and he's never going to see me anything more than a friend. His eyes barely brushed over me when he first saw me tonight. I don't need to kiss him to know how he feels about me. It's obvious by the way he's looking at Cerys versus the way he looks at me.

I claim another lager and turn to the one place where I can escape the claws of stupidity. I reach my room with difficulty and head straight for the skylight. Gripping the bottle between my teeth, I hoist myself up into the frigid air. My dress and heels limit my movement and I mess up the usually simple manoeuvre. I land heavily, twisting my ankle, and fall to the flat root. The lager falls from its hold and smashes, taking with it the last chance for me to get over tonight's shame.

The glow emanating from the town below me distorts the view of the sea. There's a buzz in the air. Music comes from every angle. Lights project into the dark sky. All in anticipation. But none of it lifts my mood.

Before long, the sky will be illuminated by fireworks. A colourful contrast to how I'm feeling.

My bedroom door slams shut, disturbing my thoughts. In my haste to escape, I forgot to lock it and I dread to think what I'll find when I head back in. I wrap my arms around my waist as some sort of protection against both the cold and how tonight has turned out.