How Dare You

Chapter 5

Sleep was a foreign term to me that night. 

I stared at the ceiling, watching as it turned a darker shade by second... until I couldn't tell whether my eyes were opened or closed. 
The morning was something I wished would never come, but not all wishes come true, that much we know. 

I don't remember when nor how I drifted into a dream, then again I had forced myself to forget so often that it didn't come as a surprise that I'd forget to remember at times. 
That night, I dreamt of our life long ago, long ago when father was fine, long ago when mother hadn't changed, and long ago when we were happy.
Happy... it's a rather strange word from that world I use to dance in, but that world has shattered since long ago, and there's no use crying over it's remains. 

Beams of light seeped through the gaps of the curtains, burning my tightly shut eyes.  A soft groan escaped my lips as my eyebrows furrowed together, it seems morning managed to arrive afterall.
I wondered how long I could lay in bed and pretend that I were asleep until it became obvious that I was not. The ticking of the clock that hung ever so still to my right echoed in my ears, and soon it became all that was in my mind. That clock was long broken, it would tick a second up, then fall back down, then tick up again, just to fall back down once more... Although it were useless, for it cannot do the one and only thing that it was made to do, I never threw it away. Maybe it was because I found comfort in not knowing the time, maybe it was because I liked knowing the seconds that passed by, or maybe it was something else entirely... Not that I had any motive to find out. 

The thing with that clock was that it was funny, because the only time I could ever seem to hear it's ticking was when time seemed to sit still. How ironic. 

Seconds after seconds passed by, and it occurred to me that this was the extent of how long I could lay in bed until my consciousness became apparent. My body felt heavy, and my legs felt limp, but a lady would not lay in bed all day simply because she didn't want to wake up, nor would a good older sister selfishly lock herself inside her room, placing her younger sibling in an even more difficult situation. So I dragged myself out of my room, and gently knocked on Anastasia's. 

"Sister are you awake?" I whispered

A moment of silence followed before the door quietly opened, "Heh of course!" Anastasia giggled, "I have been for a while now, in fact, if it wasn't for you coming and knocking on my door, I wouldn't know how much longer I would've stayed in there!" 

"Is that so?" I laughed, even though I was already aware of that fact.

Anastasia quickly glanced around as she somewhat leaned forward, causing me to as well, 

"So sister, whatever do we do now?" 

"Wash our faces, and brush our teeth, whatever else could we do?"

It was clear that things such as washing your face and brushing your teeth couldn't take up much time, unfortunately. Eventually we had to make our way down the stairs, and into the dining room... where Mother sat. 
On the table laid breakfast; crisp toast coated with a thin, glossy layer of melted butter, with eggs on the side, and cups of steaming chocolate milk. A simple breakfast really, but I quite fancied simple, if only our lives had stayed simple as well.  

The atmosphere was stifling, I did as best as I could to avoid eye contact, I believe we all were. Only the light tapping of untensils on plates came from each of us, and I was focused on staring at my plate while eating that I had forgot to taste. Or maybe the butter just wasn't as salty... though that was rather unlikely. The thought that maybe I should just simply scarf down all the food came now then, in between bites, but my stomach was turned upside down, twisted in knots, and the desire to not vomit quickly dismissed any lingering thoughts of scarfing down anything. 

My heart pounded each time I swolllowed. I feared that I would gag and all the food would come spewing out, I feared that my chair would creak if I placed too much of my weight on it, I feared that my knife might scrap the plate to loudly, and I fear... I feared looking up. 

When I finished my last bite of toast and drank my last bit of chocolate milk, I quickly glanced over at Anastasia. Our eyes met and I saw that she too had finished her meal. Perfect. I stood up and briskly excused myself, taking all the tableware that I had used to the sink. Anastasia, as always, did the same. 

"Drizella, Anastasia.." My mother's frail voice seeped through the silence, as I was about to take my first step up the stairs. 

"What is it mother?" Attempting to hide the annoyance I felt upon hearing her call my name led my voice to become cruelly cold. 

"What I said to you girls, yesterday, I deeply regret... it was awfully thoughtless of me"

Although her words were fitting for a baroness, the way she said them and her gestures were not. My proper and poise mother was nowhere to be seen. The mother that I had admired, the mother that I had looked up to all my life, and the mother that my father fell in love with. 
My heart, it stung. 

Again, I looked over to Anastasia to seek advice, but her eyes simply reassured me that whatever I concluded to do, she would support.  Oh my dear, lovely sister.

And so I reached a decision, one that I will forever regret...

"We'll meet him, Duke Marcus that is"