Something you wish for - Kavetham / Haikaveh Hanahaki AU

Question of fate

A bright light filled my sight as I opened my eyes. A hospital, of course. It took me a while to adjust to the light, but once I did, I started to look around the room. I found the person I hoped to see, asleep on a chair in the corner. I wondered for how long I had been unconscious, hopefully only a day or two.. I tried to sit up right, but my body hurt too much to do so. As I lied back down I realised there's no way Kaveh could have been unaware of my condition at this point, he would have found me on the floor, likely surrounded by petals and blood. Explaining this to the doctors they probably diagnosed me in front of him. Even if this was a rare condition, there's no way they don't know about it. I stared at the ceiling for a while, lost in thoughts. Eventually a nurse came in, noticing I was awake he started doing a checkup, before walking out to alert a doctor. I remained quiet during this, mainly because I didn't know what to say, but also because my throat was hurting really badly. After three more hours, Kaveh seemed to wake up again. I watched him stretch, watched pain in his face as he realised his muscles were sore from sleeping in a bad posture. I knew he was used to that though, I always watched him sketch either with his neck or back in a terrible position. It took him a small amount of time to realise I was awake, He immediately stood up, almost falling over because he did it too quickly. "Alhaitham! What the fuck man, Hanahaki? why didn't you tell me!?" Of course his first action was berating me, though it was obvious he was worried. "I think the reason for that is rather obvious." I stated, to which he rolled his eyes. "I get it.. but still, why did you let it escalate so much!" I sighed, which caused me to cough again, but only a little bit luckily. This seemed to startle Kaveh a bit, which made sense considering I almost died before, but he quickly calmed down when he realised I was fine, for now at least. I took a careful deep breath before speaking "I underestimated it, I suppose" My voice sounded raspy. "You never underestimate anything." Kaveh said, he made a fair statement, my actions were always calculated carefully, but this time it was only hope keeping me to let it ruin me. I stayed quiet, I wasn't sure how to admit that I was living off hope all this time, it felt pathetic. Kaveh took my silence as a reason to speak again, but his tone and mood switched after he sighed. "Moving on from that, what matters is that you're alive now. Don't do that again." He said, eyes turned away. Kaveh's worrying always expressed itself in annoyance unless it was urgent. But I knew him long enough to see right trough him. "I'm sorry, I won't." I replied. There was no use arguing with him on this, I knew he was right. There was a minute of silence before I finally broke it. "Are you aware of who caused my Hanahaki?" I asked, I had to make sure before I asked the big question, the one determining my fate. Kaveh's eyes turned back to me. "I have my guesses." he said. Nice and vague, very helpful thank you. In my head I was rolling my eyes, not actually though, that would ruin the moment. "It was you." getting that out of me felt terrifying, though I felt that he already knew. My heart was beating very quickly now, this was the moment I would find out if I would live or not. "I know..." Kaveh stayed silent after this, it was not helping. I knew he was trying to figure out how to tell me his answer, which only made me more anxious. Eventually he managed to speak again, a soft pink covering his cheeks. "I feel the same." A huge pressure lifted from me, my lungs felt clear again. Kaveh stared at me, I looked down to see what he was staring at, to find mourning flower petals growing trough me. It didn't hurt, it didn't even leave a scar, it was leaving my lungs and passing trough my skin, only to fly up and dissolve before our eyes. Somehow it looked beautiful, bittersweet, remembering the trauma it had caused. After this event stopped, Kaveh and I sat there in silence, staring at each other. Neither of us could process what just happened. Kaveh broke the silence after several minutes. "I want to paint that." I looked at him, he seemed completely serious. "W-what?" "I want to paint that." He repeated, as if I hadn't heard him. "My ears are fine, Kaveh." Kaveh just looked at me, eventually explaining his words. "I want to paint it, because it was pretty." I sighed. "I get that, it was just a really weird way to break the silence." Kaveh looked at me for a few seconds, his face shifted as he realised it. "Oh yeah.. my bad." He laughed awkwardly, it felt like everything went back to normal again, but I hadn't moved on yet. I stared at the palms of my hands, they had their colour back, no longer showing any sign of the death that almost occurred. Kaveh realised my perspective and came closer to me, he put my headphones back on for me and silence surrounded me. This was nice, I was alone with my thoughts, but it was safe this time, there was no risk of dying if I thought too much of him. Kaveh was allowing me to process everything on my own, but not alone. I felt his hand embrace mine as he sat down next to me. His hands were cold compared to mine, but a few minutes later it was barely noticeable. This was a nice sensation, no sound only the touch of the one I love, the one who loved me back, the one who almost killed me, and then saved my life. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I squeezed his hand softly as I exhaled. 

"Thank you."