"its like christmas up in this bitch" a dave strider x reader

>Dave: Pester Y/N

--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering oppositesAttract [OA] at 10:46--

TG: whats popping
TG: havent talked to you in a hot minute y/n
TG: you still grounded or what
TG: been here waiting for you to be online again for like a week
TG: shits mad lonely when youre not here sometimes
TG: its sad
TG: like an abandoned puppy primed and ready for its owner to come back after weeks just for it to get kicked right in the nuts
TG: but yeah hope youre doing okay
TG: out here chillin like a villain waiting for you
OA: hey dave!! i just got ungrounded
OA: missed you too buddy
TG: oh shit youre back
TG: jfc i thought you were dead
TG: your mom seemed pretty damn pissed
TG: thats why my bros cooler
TG: he lets me do whatever like
TG: your moms the lame soyjak while my bros the chad buff wojak
OA: oh shut it dave hes far from cool
OA: he looks like
OA: such a DOUCHEEEE
OA: i mean it fits him he pulls off the douchey look i guess
OA: the spiked up hair i could only see him pulling off
OA: but thats because hes an asshole
TG: y/n your moms worse be fr rn
TG: she grounded you for a week just because you went outside with mismatched socks
TG: like full on fucking gave you a whole lecture
TG: dude it was so awkward to be there
TG: she was like "y/n elliot guzman why were you wearing mismatched socks outside are you trying to embarrass me and make me seem like a horrible mother like i raised you to be a drooling crayola eating baby that pisses everywhere from wearing MISMATCHED SOCKS"
TG: like chill lady
TG: i mean your moms hot
TG: hot enough to crack an egg over her and that shit would be cookin
TG: makin omelettes on this bitches choice ass
TG: like damn
OA: dude stop talking about my mom like that im gonna beat your ass :T
TG: my bad my bad
TG: what im trying to say is
TG: you got grounded for a stupid reason
OA: i dunno man it sounds like youre trying to say my moms hot!
TG: she is but shes stupid
TG: bigger ass than brains
TG: i mean damn shes hot and id still smash no problem but shes stupid
TG: like lemmings on an animal planet documentary type shit
TG: dude do you KNOW how those little shits are
TG: one of those little dudes can jump off a cliff and the others will join them
TG: just like your mom
TG: yeah theyre cute but their sheer idiocy will make your head explode causing the world to end just because of the words that come out this womans mouth
OA: fine listen i agree with you she grounded me for a very stupid reason
OA: but you cant go dissing my mama like that smhhh!!!
TG: hey at least you got the looks from her and not her stupidness
OA: haha thanks i guess! :3
TG: glad youre ungrounded
TG: shit ill talk to you later
TG: gotta bounce
TG: dont go missing me k
TG: i know youll want more of this strider glory since you havent had human contact in over a century
OA: har har oh great mighty strider
OA: how ill miss your beautiful blonde locks and shades!
OA: haha ttyl dave!!

--turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering oppositesAttract [OA] at 11:30--

He's so weird.