Breathless

Olivia

I had tossed and turned all night. I couldn't get him out of my head. How did someone I have no real history or barely knew live rent free in my head. I had thought about all my options and I really did mean what I told Sarah before I had my freak out. I wanted to move on and not be who I was in high school after the incident. I wanted to have fun and experience college as most others do. Maybe the idea of having someone I feel like I could trust but know doesn't want a relationship to get over all my fears and to possibly take my virginity so maybe I can move on. But I didn't want to tell my story. Could I get away with telling some details but not all and not risking it spreading? That was my fear of bringing my past here and didn't want no one pitying me. 

I got dressed in my usual leggings and tank top and decided before I lost my edge I was going to talk with Noah.

I headed down the street on the short walk to Trent and Noah's house, or as most knew as the football house. As soon as I got there my stomach was clenching from the fear of what I was about to ask Noah, but then it hit me I can't let Trent know. He would kill Noah, if and big if Noah decided to go forward with my proposition. I knew Trent was in his individual practice so if Noah was home, now was the time. 

Before I could knock Travis, one of their friends opened the door on his way out. "Livy, what's up?" He eyed me up and down and it gave me the creeps, but I smiled polietly.

"Just coming to see my brother, " I lied but I couldn't say I was looking for Noah without people getting suspicious. 

"Sorry, but he's in practice. You can go in the house and hang out, Noah is still asleep but I think everyone else is gone." I smiled, perfect no excuse now.

"Thanks Travis, see you later." He walked off and I went in to climb the steps. 

I whispered Noah before opening the door hoping I wouldn't find him with a girl. As I opened the door all the way I said Noah louder but he didn't respond. I walked to his bed and he was spread out and I was pretty sure he was naked underneath his barely there sheet and he was sporting a morning wood. He looked delicious and I was instantly pooling between my legs. He slept hard so I went to reach and shake him, I grabbed his shoulder and had to lean on the bed slightly.

"Noah, get up." He was coming out of a slumber and grabbed my arm and whispered, "Olivia" and pulled me in. I froze as he cuddled to my back and I could feel all of him. "This is a good dream." I turned over and shook him again.

"Noah, get up" He opened his eyes and instantly looked at me questionably and could tell he was trying to figure out why I was in his room let alone his bed. "Sorry, I barged in," I get up out of the bed all of the sudden feeling weird that he may not want me there, "Travis let me in and I was coming to see you about tutoring and then you didn't wake up and then I tried to shake you and you grabbed me..." I was rambling.

He sat up, "no Olivia, you are fine. Honestly I thought I was dreaming." Had he dreamed about me? I couldn't help but scan his body, his tan skin, muscular stomach along with his rock hard erection. He caught me staring so I turn around. "Can you put some clothes on. I would like to talk to you."

I hear him get out of the bed. "Livy, you can turn around I have pants on," he smirks and sits down at his desk and pats the bed for me to sit down and suddenly sitting in his bed without him feels very empty. "What's up?"

"Noah, you said you needed a tutor for math and that you would do whatever I needed in return." His eyebrow raised and you could tell he was interested in what I had to say. "I have a proposition and it is from left field so please don't laugh and I want to explain some of why but can't go into detail. Also, this is very personal so I would prefer what I am about to say stays between us and especially doesn't get back to my brother. 

"Olivia, my lips are sealed." He stared intently waiting for what came next.

"When I was in high school there was an incident that involved me being drugged and almost being forced to do something that I didn't want to do." He stiffened and I saw anger. It wasn't the normal pity; I thought he could kill someone with just his look, but I still continued. "Don't ask me details and I don't want to talk about it cause it ruined my life for a while and even my brother's and it has held me back from so much. But I am ready to explore what I can and can't do. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't feel this urge that I can trust you and I feel like there is some kind of sexual tension." I swear I could see him literally swallowing as he was taking this all in and I was so proud of how forward I was being. "Noah, I am still a virgin, technically. And I want to experience things. But I am so fearful to do anything without a panic attack to follow which is why I want help with exploring my boundaries. I propose if I tutor you, you can help me explore these boundaries." I take a deep breath cause it took a lot for me to get all of it out.

I look down expecting him to laugh. "Fuck yeah." I look up shocked at the bluntly put yes. "Olivia I would love to help you with this. Let me know what, when and how."

I smile thinking this is the first time I felt truly excited about anything in a long time. "I guess we need to set some boundaries. You obviously know I am not going to be with anyone else, but I am not stopping you from being with other people. I was thinking we could do this for a semester or until I feel comfortable with everything and hopefully it would give me time to slowly go into this. I will help you with any tutoring you may need." Selfishly I did not want him to be with anyone else, but I couldn't ask that of him.

"I am not going to be sleeping around or whatever with others during this. I can't do that to you." He added.

"But if it did happen Noah, know that's ok. I don't know if I will be able to fulfill what you need." I looked down at my hands, as hopeful as I was, I was also very realistic not knowing if I would be able to do anything past what we had already done and I knew Noah's reputation and knew he had needs.

He got up and sat beside me. "Olivia, I don't want to be with anyone. So let me make sure I understand. This is like a friends with benefits, but mainly to get you used to being touched and get past your past." He flinched, but he wasn't going to push anything and respect my wishes. 

"Yes." I replied looking straight ahead and then turning toward him and his eyes landed on my mouth.

"Livy, we could start with something simple today." He whispered as he began to lean in and I was coming forward. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered inches from my lips. I closed in on the kiss giving him his answer and it started slow and tender and then it deepened with our tongues twisting and I let out a small moan from the sensation. He pulled me by hips and I was straddling him and his hands were moving all over my back under my tank top, I could feel his hard erection beneath me and couldn't help but to begin to grind and he growled into my throat. That was when we heard a door slam. I jumped up and away from him. 

"Ok, that was a good start, but I think we need to maybe schedule these things around my school and your football schedule and plan to study as well cause you need help as well. Plus we need to figure out what we are going to tell Trent." As if on cue I hear yelling down the hallway, "Noah, man, you up yet?" 

I freeze looking at Noah, he jumps up adjusting his erection and grabs books and sprawls them across the bed and we sit far away from each other. Trent comes in his room and instantly pauses.

"What the fuck is Livy doing in here?" He was turning red from assumption.

"Chill bro, she's here helping me with math. I had to retake a class and I saw here studying the same thing the other day and she said she would help me. She's going to be a life savor." He was smiling and so was I, but internally panicking hoping Trent bought it.

"Oh ok, thank God cause I was about to have to fight my best friend. No hanky panky, not with my sister. You know the rules." Noah and I look back and forth at each other. 

"No worries man. She will probably be here a night or two a week helping me so don't panic." He said while standing up and hitting Trent on the shoulder. 

"Actually I am heading out, I think we are done with today's session." I close the book in front of me and stop to give Trent a kiss on the cheek on the way out and look back at Noah. "Just text me what afternoons or evenings work for you." I hurry down the steps feeling more exhilarated than I have in a long time all the while wondering what I have got myself into.