Playing it Straight

Chapter 17

Lily's mom took part of the winter break off to make sure she got to spend time with her daughter. Her mom said that she spends all her time taking care of other kids at the preschool that, when given the chance, she wanted to spend as much time with her own daughter as possible. Lily had been home a few days when they spent Wednesday morning shopping and were having lunch before catching an early movie.

"I am so happy you're home, little flower." Little flower...it had always been her mom's nickname for her. Her mom said there was a day before she even knew she was pregnant when a little girl ran to her when they were playing outside and handed her a tiny Lily. According to her mom, the little girl said she needed a little flower to make her smile. That night, she found out she was pregnant with Lily and knew she would always have that little flower to make her smile.

"Mom, it's not like you never saw me. You came to visit and I called all the time." Lily was pretending to be exasperated, but she loved getting to spend so much time with her mom. Jenny would hate to hear it, but her mom was her best friend.

"I know, I know. But it's different when I get to actually have you home. The house is so empty when you are away."

Lily and her mom continued to talk about the last semester, classes, and cheerleading. "And how's everything with Ryder? He is such a sweet boy."

Lily almost choked on her water. She talked to her mom every Tuesday, and she never told her anything about her relationship, homecoming, or how she has been questioning her sexuality. She had no idea how her mom knew he was such a sweet boy. "Um..." Lily said through a cough, "he's good. He has been busy this semester with football and everything. But, yeah... he's good."

"That's great, hunny. I'm glad you have someone in your life. Your dad and I just want you to be happy so you can eventually settle down with a nice man and give me a million grandbabies."

Lily stared at her mom. She knew that her parents expected her to get married and have kids, and she knew they expected her to marry a man...but this was the first time she truly stopped to think about what she wanted. She never questioned it before and thought she would always live up to her family's expectations, but now, she wondered if she would truly be happy that way.

"Thanks mom." She didn't know what else she could say. Inside, she felt like she was ready to rage or cry, but she knew she couldn't do either. Instead, she shoved it down.

"And how is Nora?" 

Lily knew her mom would do this. She always tried to be the cool mom by bringing up her friends. "She's good. She is planning to move to New York after graduation. She wants to try and get an agent and make it as a dancer."

"Oh that's just wonderful," her mom gushed.

Lily took a breath. She had mentioned Charlie to her mom on one of their standard phone calls but didn't want her parents to know how important Charlie was to her. "Yeah, she's doing really well. And remember, Charlie? I told you about her. She was in my Spanish class."

"Hmmm...oh, I think I remember."

"Yeah, we got pretty close." Please ask a follow up question, Lily thought to herself, mentally willing her mom to ask what exactly she meant.

"That's great dear," her mom said as she continued to eat her lunch. Nope, no such luck, Lily thought.

"Yeah, we signed up for a health class together next semester too."

"That's wonderful. I'm glad to hear you are making new friends. So are you going to be spending New Years with Ryder?"

"What?" The change back to Ryder threw her, and she wasn't ready for such an abrupt subject change.