New Girl

Quotes, coz I'm bored.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. im bored.

so heres quotes

(yaaaaaaaaaaaay)

Raj: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I'm near mine, I start acting stupid.
Bowie: You always act stupid.
Bowie:
Bowie: Wait...

Ripper: I miss the days when women stayed home and cooked.
Julia: I miss the days when men went to war and fucking died.

Priya: my home life's the worst!
Writers: here's a piece of candy.
Priya: yay, I love candy!

Bowie: Our friendship goes beyond
Gina: Your average kind of bond
Bowie: But not because we're straight
Gina: No, not because we're straight

Julia: Hey, it's your turn to wash the dishes.
Scary Girl: I'll wash the walls red with your blood.
Julia: Okay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time.

Chase, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?
Gina: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.
Chase:
Chase: Water you doing?

Emily: Help! I'm drowning!
Caleb: Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!
Emily: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Damien: how the fuck have you two dated so many people?!
Gina: um, because we're whores?
Emily: for once she's right about something

Raj: Please pray for Ripper.
Emma: What happened to them?
Raj: Nothing, they're just very stupid.

Julia: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.
Julia: So I've decided to break the fourth wall.
Julia: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Bowie: *Knocks Raj into the water*
Bowie: Raj, don't drown! Let me do the swallowing-

Damien: you've been getting hurt so much lately!
Emily: I know! Seems like every time I pick up a pocket knife, I slip! *awkward laughter*

Zee: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.
Chase: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

Emily: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?
Julia: Like its slips on and off really easily.
Emily:
Julia: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Gina and MK: We know what you meant.

Gina: I'll spit in your face!
Emily: I'll spit on your grave!
Gina: I'll spit in your mouth!
Emily: I'll like it!

Julia: Emily, why does your bucket list have 'Die' on it?
Emily: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

Julia: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Emily is? Because Emily is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Damien: I feel like doing something stupid.
Emily: I'm stupid, do me.

Drunk Priya: Everything's spinnyyyyyyyy
Emily: *Pulls a shot from her hands* I think you're done, pint sized.
Drunk Priya: Nooooo
Gina: Aw, c'mon bitch! She can handle it!
Emily: she's never been drinking and shes soaking wet- ah shit, where'd she go?