The Shining Notes

I have a habit of going to my terrace, each night after dinner and walk till my mood uplifted; finding hope received from the mistful, dark sky with light gales and the luminous, cratered moon all along with my favorite beats to keep me company. The medley of all these things did me wonders as it became the very highlight of my day. A moment which I long for the whole day, where I am all alone, with no noise except the melody of my music; with no distractions just the feeling of the winds patting my face; with no annoying brother but just me all by myself. When I achieve serenity.

 That day too, I put on my coat as it was pretty cold that night and dashed towards my mom wondering if she would lend me her phone so I could take my beats with me. Though, she never hesitated and always gave me her phone but that day, my mother was quite busy with her school's work as a big event was coming up. While she was hustling, I left the idea of taking my music with me and made up my mind that, why not I try going without it? And too Figure out how it feels like.

Okay, I walked up the terrace. The winds were colder than usual. I put on my cap attached to my dark blue jacket. I took a deep breath and walked upstairs. With each passing stair I got closer to my destination and with each passing stair the wind pressure increased. As I surpassed the last one, I spotted a bright light dazzling on the terrace surface. I was familiar with it, I rushed and  and had a pretty sure hunch that it was the moon. But, today; it looked more beautiful than usual. It dazzled and outshined everything. Words can't express how I felt that night. The moon's beauty was ineffable. It was shining, glittering ethereal in the clear night. I gaped and gazed at the moon, and I suppose that I could sit there all night staring at the moon. I looked around and the stars were making heartening constellations. Looking at such haven like heaven. I couldn't help but wish I had my music this time. That was the best, most beatific night of probably my whole life and I didn't have my music?

I was perplexed. I strolled for some time. Tried to distract my mind from the one though which popped again and again. "I want my music! something's missing."

The more I tried to suppress, the more it knocked my mind's door. Eventually, I rushed inside the house and asked my father, though I had asked before and he was busy in his office work. He wasn't free till yet. My father and mother sure have a lot of work to do today. So ironic! the rest days the phone are free around this time and they happily lend it to me. But, today when I need my music the most; I can't have it? sure it was another night, I would have understood, but today? I don't want to..... why?

I was feeling dolorous. I secretly peeked at my mother if her work was finished, but she too was busy. She did sensed my presence anyway and said she'll give after some time.

I again went upstairs. Paying my attention to the moon instead of feeling sorrowful without my music. It worked for some time but again my mind roamed and I darted again and asked my brother for the tab. Probably it could work.
It did, I was happy now. I swiftly got the headphones arranged and with my music starting felt relieved. Phew! Finally!

My mother said if this is what you won't call addiction, then what would you call it?

Well, my mother never really did understand my passion for music. She did appreciated it but never truly understand that it meant everything to me. Listening to music everyday at night would be thought normal, but it's the most appealing time of my day. A time where I could be myself with nothing to work on and just relax as those notes filled my ear with cackles of contentment and I was serious about if as if I don't get that time, I would become irritated, angry and peevish. Music was the only thing which could soothe me. She may think it as addiction but for me it's love.

Even though, I was relieved with my music, and felt satisfied at first but I couldn't now concentrate on the moon. When I focused on moon, I couldn't focus on my music and when on my music; not on the moon. Why?!

I wanted my music, I got it; but, now I don't and also want it? What should I do?!

 By now I had to make a choice. I was in a dilemma to choose between my music or the moon. Both the M s had manipulated me.

That day I couldn't get the best of both the things but did learn something that, for one good thing you got to sacrifice the other.