the currents of destiny (short story)

Light amidst the tempest

He didn't know how much time had passed floating in the void. Minutes? Hours? Days? All he knew was the deep whirlwind of confusion his mind had turned into.

After the visions, he was sure of one thing; he wanted Tav to be happy. She deserved to be with someone who could love her fully and without hesitation, unlike him. He couldn't bear to see her go through the same pain and heartache that he had caused her in the visions. The regret and longing for what could have been tugged at his heartstrings, but at the same time, he knew he didn't deserve Tav. He had hurt her too many times.

He sensed his body being pulled, but he felt so tired, so spent. He longed for release from the pain and exhaustion, to return to Tav and make amends for his mistakes before disappearing for good.

But in that moment, Astarion could feel his consciousness being tugged away from his body through the vast expanse of time and space.

Astarion jerked awake. For a moment, he was enveloped in darkness, his mind still lost in the void of sleep. Slowly, he focused on his surroundings - the softness of the bed beneath him, the intricate patterns adorning the walls, the gentle light filtering through the curtains. He was back in their suite at the Elfsong Tabern, where they had been living for months now. The room felt familiar and comforting, yet Astarion couldn't shake off the feeling of being in a foreign body.

As his eyes adjusted to the blinding light, Astarion's consciousness merged with his future self. He saw a small figure curled up against his side. Tav, her head resting on his chest as she slept soundly. Astarion watched himself gently brush strands of hair away from Tav's face, feeling a sense of longing and love for her. She stirred slightly but didn't wake up. He then traced the curves of her face with his fingers. She looked so peaceful and serene sleeping next to him.

I wish I could have this, he told himself, I wish this was real.

He longed for this moment to be real, to have her in his arms once again. The warmth of her body against his, the softness of her touch, and the sweet aroma of her presence overwhelmed his senses. He had missed her so much, and now she was resting peacefully in his embrace.

And he couldn't believe it. How could this be happening? What had his future self done to deserve this second chance? After all the pain and heartache he had caused her, she was here, forgiving him once again. The surge of guilt that flooded through him was almost suffocating as he remembered the vivid visions of their potential future. Though they may have been mere illusions, the thought that they were a possibility was enough to torment him.

Finally, her eyes started to open slowly, glancing at him from behind squinting eyes.

"Astarion?" she mumbled, still half-asleep, burying her face on the crook of his neck.

He felt an intense need in his future self, mirroring his own emotions. Astarion's arms encircled her in a tight embrace, pulling her closer to him as she nuzzled into his chest. He gently kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Yes, dear?"

"I had missed this... you. So much." Her eyes gazed up at him.

"My, aren't we full of our feelings this morning." the vampire chuckled, brushing aside her hair so that her face was fully visible to him.

"If you ever leave like that again, I will kill you with my own hands," Tav's voice broke as tears started to stream down her face.

So this must be briefly after my return, he thought to himself.

His body pulled her even closer, his arms tightening around her.

As Tav's words sunk in, Future Astarion's heart ached with both guilt and shame.