"Jimin?" I stood outside her bedroom door, waiting for a reply. it's been 2 days since Dispatch released the news of her and JaeWook dating.
"Minjeong?" It was so soft that I would have missed it if it wasn't just us in the apartment today.
"It's me, can I come in?" I said softly.
"You can." She replied
I opened the door to her room and walked through it, she was sitting on her bed with her blankets wrapped around herself. She looked so small, so confused, so lost and afraid. I hated seeing her like this.
"What am I going to do?" She said.
"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting down infront of her.
"About this, about everything. I mean we just started seeing each other and now everybody knows and we were taking things slow and everything was going amazing and now I don't know what's going on. People are saying things about him and I, people are saying things about us too Minjeong, and I just don't know what to do." She said,
"Jimin," I said trying to get her attention.
"The fans love seeing us together and now that they know that I'm in a relationship, what are we supposed to do now? How should I act around you now, am I not allowed to hold you anymore? am I not allowed to look at you anymore, can I not interact with you as much anymore? Like I just-" She rambled on.
"Jimin," I said more firmly this time and this got her attention. "Breathe for a second," I said looking at her, she looked so stressed and tired since the news came out. Her lips were pale and rough, probably because of her habit of chewing on them whenever she's nervous or stressed, she's lost some color in her too, her eyes were puffy and looked so tired, her bin was filled with tissues, she was a mess.
Her hands were shaking and you could see the panic in her eyes. "Breathe for me Jimin," I said again while grabbing onto her hands, and holding them in mine. She took a breath in, then another, and another until she was okay again.
"You're going to be okay," I started off, looking into her eyes. "Yes the world knows about your relationship now and yes some things are going to start changing and yes it's going to be hard but everything's going to be okay. You have Giselle, you have NingNing, you have JaeWook, and you have me Jimin. You're not alone okay, we'll be here to help you through all of this." I said, drawing small circles on her hands with my thumb.
"But what about the fans, what about JiminJeong? Everyone thought we had something..." She trailed off. There was so many things that I wanted tell her, things that I've kept locked away for so long but I couldn't.
She shouldn't know how I laid my heart out for her in her hands. So I went with the safest option, the option that was right.
"Jimin we're friends, we've known each other since we were teenagers, and we've gone through things that are worse than this. We always got through it too, together. We're team JiminJeong, we're friends who cling onto each other, friends who support each other, friends who laugh with each other, and friends who love each other platonically. That will never change, nothing about us will change, Jimin." I said.
"It was our fans who put a meaning into our relationship," I said, looking down at our hands.
I put a meaning into our relationship.
"I don't even know how to act around you on camera now, because I feel like nothing I do will be acceptable anymore," Jimin said, a frown forming on her pretty face. "Oh my god, I've been so cooped up with my own feelings that I didn't even think about you, your image has been ruined now, I've seen so many people saying that I've betrayed and left you, Minjeong." She trailed off, tears were forming in her eyes as she looked at me.
How can she be so selfless...
How can she sit there and worry about me when her privacy was stolen from her, how can she shed tears for me and not herself?
"Jimin listen to me, you didn't ruin anything for me, just be the same Jimin that you've always been around me, I'll even initiate things if it makes you feel more comfortable because then that way you wouldn't have to worry about what you can and can't do Jimin," I said with a small smile, tears were now flowing down freely on her face.
The face that I fell in love with.
"We'll be okay," I said, biting my tongue, holding back my tears, I refused to shed any in front of her right now. "We'll be alright, I'm here Yooji," I said with my voice cracking at the end, wiping the stray tears on her face before pulling her into a hug because I don't know how much longer I could hold back the tears forming in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight as she cried quietly in my arms.
It hurts.
My heart, it hurts.
