"Yes... I want you to leave me alone. I mean it."
The words leave a sickly taste in your mouth and you wash them down with even more wine, aware that the more you drink the more your resolve might weaken but you're not thinking straight.
"Do you tho...
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The party wraps up pretty soon after that, the guests quickly dispersing, leaving you, Larry, Van and Sophie in the kitchen amidst a mess of half drunken cans and empty beer bottles.
Sophie's half-sitting, half-sprawled at a seat on the breakfast bar, her arms draped around Van's neck to steady herself, whispering sloppy sweet nothings into his ear as he tries to look interested. He can't quite carry it off though, flashes of annoyance crossing his countenance as his eyes keep flicking to you, watching on as Larry's hands linger at your waist, attentive as ever as you move around the kitchen tossing empty bottles and cans into a bin bag.
"You don't have to clear up now, it can wait. Let's just do it in the morning."
Larry's quite insistent but you're adamant, wanting to stretch out the time you have sharing the same space as Van despite it being torturous, punishing yourself for letting this situation get wildly out of control.
"It's a right mess," you complain, swiping more rubbish into the bag, casting another glance in Van's direction. "May as well do it now though as we'll all be feeling like shit tomorrow. And you know we won't get any help with it, don't you?"
You narrow your eyes at Van at the last sentence, pointedly, ignoring the look of exasperation he shoots you. He keeps quiet though, looking down as Sophie curls a hand around his thigh as it creeps inwards, her attempt at seduction as her lips trail across his neck just below the jaw.
All of a sudden all you can think of is how the night's going to end. You deflecting Larry's amorous advances feigning a headache whilst Van and Sophie fuck like animals in the next room. You can picture their bodies entwined and it fills you with bitterness, imagining Van taking his sexual frustrations out on her. It doesn't matter that he might be thinking of you, he won't hold back, and why should he? You're not together. You're with his best friend, supposedly happy and in love. And he's a free agent. He can fuck whoever he likes, whenever he likes. And there's nothing that you can do about it.
"Mmm... shall we go to bed Van?" Sophie purrs into his ear and that's the final straw.
You thrust the bin bag roughly at Larry, some of the contents spilling out and on to the floor, mumbling something about feeling sick all of a sudden. Then you quickly stalk out of the room, not even looking back at Van. You're sure you'll hear him soon enough anyway through the bedroom walls.
Once in Larry's room you slip out of your ruined dress, letting it pool on the floor at your feet, kicking it angrily across the bedroom floor. Then you unclasp your bra which gets slung on to the floor in the same fashion, sliding under the covers without even removing your make-up. You just want the oblivion of sleep to claim you as quickly as possible so you don't have to think about Van and the way that he makes you feel. The fact that your mind is already exploring scenarios where you could be alone together again, daring to imagine your naked bodies fused together, slick with sweat as he hovers over you, pumping into you at a maddening pace until you fall apart beneath him.
