Behind Blue Eyes

Topless

They won't know, I love your face, just get away, I'm on my knees, fuck you, fuck me-Topless, Breaking Benjamin

I could barely look at Peter the next morning when I arrived in the Rainbow Room. Two was still in the infirmary, and Papa had yet to tell us what our lessons would be today. I could feel Peter's eyes burning holes into my head the entire time while we waited. My face seemed to be permanently red. I wanted to be near him, but I also felt like I needed to be on the other side of the planet from him. 

It was an odd feeling. I'd gotten so used to being near him, so used to flirting with him, that I'd never thought about what it'd feel like to kiss him, let alone do what we had done. My fingers subconsciously find their way up to my own lips. The ghost of his mouth on mine made me feel warm all over. I couldn't push it from my mind if I tried. I could admit it: I wanted more of his kisses. I wanted to do what we did last night again. 

I felt my entire body prickle with the sensation of wanting him, and being in the same room as him and not being able to touch him was excruciating. It was like a switch had been flipped inside of me, and I couldn't get enough. It was all I could think about. His taste, the feeling of his teeth scraping on my neck, his breath on my ear, his hands on my skin. 

I practically groaned when I realized how worked up I was getting just sitting here on the floor -against the wall. I looked over, a mistake. Peter was standing in front of the doors, looking over at me with a knowing smirk and his eyes dancing with mischief. It was as if he knew exactly what I was thinking about, and my eyes drifted to below his belt. I snapped my eyes away the exact moment I realized what I was doing, and felt the amusement rolling off of him so loudly it was like he was laughing in my face. 

I scowl at him, thankful Papa had given me back my headphones. They were sat around my neck, my Walkman nestled in my lap. I pulled the padded muffs over my ears and pressed play on the recording device, turning the music up loud so that I couldn't have any chance of anything else coming through to me. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me blasted, and I wondered if the other children could hear it. Ella's voice soothed something in me, but when I looked up once again at Peter, he was staring at the floor with a dark look on his face. I swallowed nervously, not quite knowing what upset him so suddenly. The song continued to play, and I debated on whether or not I should turn it off. Could he hear it? Did he have something against this song? 

For having known him so long, I finally found something I didn't know about him. I'm sure there was plenty I didn't know, but this seemed so mundane. It miffed me a little that I didn't know what was upsetting him. 

Peter stepped aside as Eleven came into the room. His dark eyes smoothed over, returning to their usual blue, and I turned my music down. Eleven came to walk towards me, her big brown eyes finding mine almost immediately. Out of respect, I lowered the headset from my ears as she approached. 

"What's up, El?" 

She shrugs, her eyes looking at my growing hair. Her hand comes up to feel her own, and I frown. My hair was starting to grow out, and I wondered if that was on purpose. Papa said I'd be aging out soon, and Peter had been allowed to grow his hair out. I guess one good thing could come of this. But, I'd much rather get out of here before that. I knew I was only days away from getting Soteria. 

"Want to play a game?" Peter was standing behind her now. I jumped slightly, not having expected him to just appear. 

Eleven spun around, having been frightened as well. Peter looked at her kindly, and she nodded. "Okay," she said. 

"Go pick one out, we'll wait." 

The girl went to do as she's told and Peter came to sit down beside me. I swallowed back all of the feelings it stirred inside my gut, crossing my legs so that the pressure of my thighs might relieve the stress between them. "Why do you need her?" I ask, tilting my head slightly to peer over at him. "I could take Soteria out of you right now and we could be on our way tonight."