Lost in your world

1.Denial and pain.

The tick smell of sweat that overwhelms even the smell of paint.

Messy sweat drops.
Fine muscles swollen to the point of explosion..... Gorgeous.
I want to touch them.

"Why don't you just do them roughly?'
Those were the words SungWu asked me while I was painting his number on his chest.

I guess I messed around too much. Now I have to come up with a really good excuse to bail myself out.

Your nipples....
They're not aligned horizontally, and it's bothering me.
I guess this would do.

His friends begin to laugh, and tease him. Thankfully they didn't notice.

I was so captivated by the feeling of the brush touching him that I made a serious mistake.

"So when does this dry?"
Sung-Wu asks me.

I answer, telling him to wait 20-30 minutes depending on his body temperature.

....what if he thinks I'm weird?

The relay race begins everyone are so excited charring and chanting for the class president fixating their eyes on him.

..... really though I can only see Yoo SungWu.

..... no one should

..... ever know that I'm always thinking about Yoo SungWu.

How are my thoughts this filthy...?

Why is he looking at me like that?

It must be my imagination right?
No way
Did he notice me earlier?

It wasn't my imagination.
Lately SungWu and I keep making eye contact.
But why do I, keep walking on eggshells around SungWu.
Maybe I'm just over thinking the situation.
Is SungWu looking at be because he knows what I'm thinking?
I'm so pathetic.

Today's a psychology test,every one including me aren't in the mood for all these,but if it's to get extra grade's I'm in.

There is a closet thrown away in front of you house. What item is inside that closet drawers.

1. A broken toy
2. A candle
3. Drivers license or identification card
4. Photo

I pick a candle.
At that very moment SungWu joins us picking the Same answer as I did.
He wraps his arms around me and clings onto me.

I can't hear a word they're saying at all!
My heart sounds like it going to burst!
Sungwu's going to think it's weird.

"Do you have a secret." He asks me

"I have one a secret that I can't tell anyone."
"You have one too, right."
What....
Does he mean?
Ever since then I tried keeping my distance,but SungWu kept pursuing me.
When SungWu watches me,I get nervous.
All I did was look at him a little, just a little.
Did I really do something wrong?

Finally it's Time for me to head to my art cram school,and on my way leaving the school I realize that I left my materials in the classroom and head back to get them.

An empty school is a bit creepy.
I should quickly grab it and leave.
But once I opened the classroom door I lost all my nerves from just seeing SungWu in there.

"Did you forget something." he asks me.
Yes I did!
Why is he looking at me that way?
Anytime he does that it feels like I'm being stripped naked by him.
He asks me if my art cram school was around Haneul park saying he also attends the Yongsoo cram school during Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday's.
So he saw me often?

So what
I grab my things and head towards the door.
Suddenly SungWu grabs my arm asking me why I always avoided looking him in the eye.

"Are you afraid of me?"he asks me with his face full of so much frustration.

"Have I done anything wrong?".

"Whose scared!?"
'Let go of me'.I yelled.
"Then why do you keep avoiding me?".

"Even know,you look like you wanna run away from me!".
"Justst what the hell have I ever done to you?".

Not knowing what to do I relied on my instincts and pushed SungWu away and in the midst of that he hurts his toe.

Despite everything I couldn't just leave him there so I suggested to take him to the infirmary.

He gets back up, coming closer to me.

"Even when someone kept looking at you,you barely acknowledged them for months,and when they kept calling out to you,you acted like you didn't hear a thing,yet It worries you that I hurt my toe huh?".

Too close!
"No move, you're too close!". I plead with him.
I said move!

"No,I won't!"I was watching you always'.
"You already knew right?".
'You're blushing?'
I wanna see. He puts my hands down to avoid them from covering my face.

"No, we'll be caught."
Let go of me SungWu.

"I wanna be caught".
"If you don't like it hit me".

SungWu clings onto me even tighter.
"Why are you not hitting me".
DongHa will you go out with me?
"I like you!".

Those words completely cleared my thoughts.
I guess I'm allowed to like you.
I'm not weird after all.
I can like him.
I didn't have to hide it from SungWu after all.
His kiss felt so tender, yet full of so much passion.

Suddenly,SungWu just left in such a hurry.
Was that a dream?
I can't get a sense of reality.
It isn't a dream!
Yoo SungWu likes me.
I also like Yoo SungWu!
Yeah!
I wonder what he's doing.

Shit...
Where'd they go?
They shouldn't have been able to get far...
Earlier I'm certain that...they were filming us!
Was that a student?
A teacher?
The time's already....
Damn it

Today a really brand new beginning for me cause me and SungWu are finally dating that means I've gotta head to school early.

Once I got there I couldn't believe what I heard.

"Hey! something strange came out in the chatroom!".
"It's a porno from our classmate,Yoo SungWu".
"Im telling you guys,He's been rolling around with some bastard in the classroom".
"What the heck SungWu's gay".
"Hahaha,this is no joke!he's so good at kissing".
"This is insane!".
"The classroom became a love motel, shit!".
"I think there are moaning sounds, turn up the volume!".
"But who's the guy Beneath".
"Could he be one of our classmates?".
"I can't see who it is because it's too dark".
"....could the other guy be Lee DongHa?".

"Stop it!" I yell.
"I'm not gay Don't lump me with SungWu, it makes me sick".

"It's SungWu!He's here?". Our classmates said.

Please tell me that you didn't hear anything.
"Lee DongHa....."he calls out to me.
The moment he calls my name fear begun to shivering through my spine.

No!
Don't say it!

"Don't worry!"
He whispered into my ear.
After everything I said, you still look at me the same way you did before?
Why?

SungWu took his bag out of his locker, and left. I haven't seen him ever since then.

I'm a cowardly piece of shit.
Later that week the news gets around that SungWu dropped out off school.
He really did all these to protect me?

I wonder what he's thinking right now?
This whole time, i was too scared to contact him.
I told myself I would apologize, however I kept delaying it again and again.
Until the end,I kept hiding behind you.
SungWu, pick up.
The number you dialed does not exist. Please check again....
Ah..
Yoo SungWu has,disappeared.
Why...?
My tears won't stop....
Damn it no on will ever know it was me in that video.
I thought my tears wouldn't stop flowing because of my guilt. However,I didn't realize my first love was born,in that one evening when our hearts connected.