Daughter of Wine

Callida

As soon as I close the door to my bunk, I fall to the floor, barely able to breathe. Gods, I've been holding everything in for so long. It took everything in me not to break down earlier, but I've been trying to keep calm and be a leader. 

I watched two of my best friends fall into the pit of doom, where no one has ever escaped alive except for Nico di Angelo, who only got out because he was a prisoner. Then I had to get a stupid statue into our ship, I had to go back to the scene to look for them, only to see the damage and destruction left behind. I had to listen to Nico talk about how maybe they'll get out, even though he wasn't sure. 

I should have done something. I should have been listening. But I was so excited that Annabeth found the Athena Parthenos, and that we were getting it on the ship, that I wasn't paying attention to Hazel's cries for help, or Annabeth's, or Percy's. I made it just in time to watch them fall. And I couldn't go and teleport them to safety, because that stupid pit was so dark, I didn't see where they went. 

I'd trade that statue for my friends back in a heartbeat. 

As soon as I manage to take a full breath, I dissolve into sobs. Tears burn my eyes, and my lungs hurt from the strain. I can't even pull myself up off of the ground. I feel completely and utterly defeated. 

Leo had done good, taking over and appearing confident when I started to lose it. I can't let myself do that again. I mean, I had to send Coach Hedge away because he was beating himself up over it so much that he became useless. I can't do that. With Annabeth gone, I need to step up and take charge. I'm the other Athena kid, even if she's not directly my mom. I need to be the one who knows what's going on, where we're going, and who we're fighting. 

Another wave of sobs hits me, and I curl myself up into a ball. It's too much. 

"Calli!" Leo's worried voice makes my heart sink further. I hadn't wanted him to see me like this. 

"Sorry." I manage to choke out the words. 

He closes the door behind him and sits down on the ground beside my head, caressing my hair affectionately. "Are you okay?"

I force myself to take a deep breath, and sit up. I wipe my face and try and calm down. "I'm fine. I'm good. All good."

He gives me a knowing look, but I feel like if I talk about it, I'll break down again. 

"It's okay," He tries, though he clearly doesn't know what to do. "I know you're upset about Percy and Annabeth. And your dad. And just... everything." He wraps an arm around me. "It's okay." He wraps an arm around me, and I immediately feel a little better. 

I snuggle into his embrace. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep it together. I really am. I just- I feel like I need to step up and take Annabeth's place, but I'm not her. I'm not a serious leader like that."

"Neither am I." He shrugs. "But we're going to figure this out, yeah? We're not alone. We're a team. And as long as I have you by my side, I feel like I can do anything." 

I take another shaky breath. "I watched them fall, Leo, and there was nothing I could do. I got there too late." 

"It's not your fault." He insists. "I promise you, it's not." 

"It's not yours, either." I remind him. 

He shrugs. "Either way, whether Nemesis likes it or not, I'm getting them back. I have to."

I try to curl further under his arm, and he holds me tighter. "I don't want to lose you. I don't think I could handle it. If it had been you that fell into Tartarus, I would've jumped in after you."